Trippin' Towards Lucidity

Changes

2008-08-07T22:34:00.000-06:00

Yes, I've changed my blog yet again. This is just my way of saying.... I'm back!!!! Well I've been back for a while, been meaning to update this place but I just couldn't come around to do doing so. If there's one thing I've taken away from my trip, its a really bad case of writer's block. I'm completely unable to put one logical sentence together. So I shall go ahead and apologize now, for the aimless post I'm about to write.

My trip started in true Milga fashion....A complete mess. Of course I waited till the last minute to pack and get myself together running around from store to store picking up anything I thought would come in handy for my brother's baby. By the time I got done I had about 1hr to go home shower, and make it to the airport in time (mind you its a 30min drive to the airport). Well, I did miss my flight, however I was able to catch a later one that would arrive on time to D.C so I wouldn't miss my connecting flight to Adis Ababa.

This was my view from the Wabi Shabelle hotel in the heart of AdisAbaba. Unfortunately I couldn't do much in Adis considering I was traveling alone, and if I left the hotel I don't think I would be able to find my way back. So I did as much sight seeing as I could do from the luxury of my hotel room balcony. I did however come down to the main lobby a couple of times, and got to meet some of the nicest people around though it wasn't the same as going out into the city and mingling as I wanted to do. I met by far the coolest Rasta Farians though. At first I was a bit weirded out when we landed at the airport. These two grown men knelt down on the ground and started kissing it---erm more like making out with the cement. Despite that they turned out to be two of the coolest people. Perhaps the next time I'm there, I'll get the chance to really go out and see the city.

Hargeysa was nothing like I ever imagined it to be. Wait! Hargeysa airport was nothing like I ever imagined. Upon landing the only face I was looking for was that of my brother's. I knew no one else in the entire city. I searched through the sea of people to find his familiar face but they all just looked the same. Finally out of the crowd of people popped my brother's face grinning from ear to ear and laughing his now bald head off. Upon walking up to him, I asked what the heck was so damn funny, and he was quick to inform me that my tattered Abercrombie and Fitch jeans were quite visible from under my abaya, and flip flops were strictly to be used for the rest room here; at a second glance I realized he wasn't the only one laughing.

I've always thought that as soon as I would go to Somalia, I'd feel an instant connection with the land, and the people, but it couldn't have been further from the truth for me. I felt like a complete stranger, an outsider. Yes the same language, and yes the same people, but yet I didn't get that immediate sense of belonging I thought I would feel. The first week was rather scary, with the little red buses that ride around giving out warnings of a cholera outbreak in the area, and the weird old woman across the dirt pathway that would challenge me to a fight every few days, the whole thing was sort of weird. I spent the first weeks at home pretty much, taking care of now very pregnant sister in law, all while getting to know her and catching up with my brother. I learned how to cook food on a coal stove and how to bargain at the local markets to get the best deals.

On June 18 after 14hrs of labour, without an epidural and without the use of any pain killers, my sister in law gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Ayat. The birth of my niece was probably the scariest yet most exciting thing I've ever witnessed in my life, she was perfect, absolutely perfect. I have never seen my brother so happy, he was hopping around like he use to when he'd kick my butt at a particular video game--ecstatic!

Everything after that day went quite fast, my time was spent holding her, bathing her, changing her, talking to her, and sometimes my sister in law would walk in and find me singing an old Dido song to her. I was obsessed completely in love with this beautiful being. Soon after though, my uncle who runs a school in a town called Sheikh asked me to come along with him on his travels to Uganda and Kenya; no protest on my end, although I was gonna miss Ayat, I knew that I wouldn't get an opportunity like this again.

Kampala was something else, really busy everyone seemed like they were always in a rush to go somewhere and do something really important. Beautiful city with just as many Chinese food places as there were trees. While my uncle was attending meetings and shopping around for teachers and money for his school. I spent most of my days with his co-worker's wife Margaret. Although Maggie looked extremely intimidating, she was one of the sweetest women I've ever met. She showed me around the city, helped me shop for souvenirs and even took me out to get a taste of the east African night life. After a week in Kampala, we headed off to Nairobi for several days before we had to head back to Hargeysa.

Back in Hargeysa, it was obvious I was missed! The young lady Amina who lived with us and helped around the house, went on a rampage talking attempting to update me on all the goings on while I was away---unfortunately due to her thick northern accent, I understood close to none of what she was saying. The kids around the neighbourhood were also really happy to see me, either they really did take a liking to me, or just missed the fact I would spend ridiculous amounts of money on cookies and candy for all of us to eat while we watch our 2hrs of "filin kartoon"--(cartoons...erm Tom and Jerry mainly). Unfortunately the trip back was just short lived, although I tried to prolong my stay for a bit longer, inevitably it was time for me to head back.

I was glad to have made a connection and find a new friend and sister in Ayan my brother's wife. She's truly an amazing human being who has gone through more than I could ever imagine, but always keeps that reassuring carefree smile on her face. I had the chance to spend quality time with my brother, who I haven't seen for two years and who has grown to be a wonderful husband and father, and an even better older brother. I became an aunt; met distant cousins, some who proposed marriage and some who were actually sincere in getting to know a cousin. I seen chickens, donkeys', baboons and goats running wild; seen a crazy man chain to a huge bolder, and drank fresh camel's milk. I was stoned and chased by a deranged man at the market, and seen an old friend all in the same day. I made many new friends and have made unforgettable memories with them. I even picked up some new slang! I had the best time of my life, and I can't wait for the day when I can do it all over again!

I'm Back !!

2007-08-06T21:17:00.003-06:00

I'm back, and have been now for a few weeks now. I haven't really had the opportunity to update this place like I promised but because I've been away from home for so long, I had a lot of catching up to do with the other aspects of my life. Before I left I took my laptop with me with the intent of writing as much as possible and keeping you all posted on my trip back home. Well as usual seems that I've only kept up with half of my promise. Though I was keeping notes I was unable to upload everything, and everyday I promise myself that I will, but I never do. Sorry folks!

Below are a few pictures from my travels.

Its me.. Surprise!!!

2007-04-19T15:47:00.000-06:00

Oh dear blog how I've missed thee!!! Its been ages since I've last seen you and since then I've been longing for the day that I would be reunited with you . Well here is its, the day I'm finally reunite with you, but there's only one problem; I don't know what to say. See the truth of the matter is I've been trying desperately for months to get back to my old habit of blogging, but every time I get around to doing so, I don't know where to start and I don't know what to say. For a self-proclaimed blabber mouth, I mean you'd think I'd always have something to say. So here's my sincere apologies to thee... I'm sorry for abandoning you once again. I'm sorry for being so scattered brain. I'm sorry for neglecting you, and forsaking you. It will never happen again...............erm.... It probably will. For several reasons which I will explain later.

Oddly enough I feel like I have to reintroduce myself to the blogging world! Yes, I have been gone that long. The last time I was around, Britney and Kevin were still together. Anna Nicole and her son were both alive, the year was 2006 and the term "that's hot" was still cool. So of course a lot has changed, many have forgot about me, and I feel inclined to reintroduce myself.

My name is Milga. I officially age ever 21st of November since 1983. I live in a small hick town where cow tipping is cool, Africa is in Asia and the mullet is still a very acceptable hairstyle.

This blog chronicles moments I want to remember. It is my emotional piggy bank; it is all the chicken soup I've ever brewed in preparation for the inevitable shitty moments in my life. I'm a constructive pessimist, which in Milga-speak means that I expect the worst, save yourself the disappointment. I tend to blurt out random lines that may very well be the continuation of a conversation I had with someone back in 1998. On most days I'm head over heels in love with myself. I also love my family, my weird cat, my dog uhm... and waffles... Belgian waffles!

According to my mother I have no real direction in my life. I'm 23 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. So to compensate for my lack of a 5 year plan, I'm in Grad school, working on a few side projects and will be auditioning for Canadian Idol next year (its so much easier)... Your votes do count!

While I've been gone I've been busy being a slave to both school and work, and of course my mother. My brother's wife is almost due, so I've finally gotten around to booking my ticket to Somalia.... erm.. Land.... Somaliland..errrm.. Hargeysa<---that's fair. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I have a couple of other things I want to do when I head out to that part of the world, which I will also explain later.

For now, however, it feels good to get through the tough task of getting the first blog since my long hibernation stunt out of the way. I won't promise a thing, but I'll try my hot diggity hardest to update this thing as regularly as possible.

I am alive!

HollyWood to the Rescue !!!

2006-12-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I should have added this to my list of my 6 weird things about me, but I have this odd habit of going out to the movies by myself. This weekend was no different. I've been fighting myself this past weekend not to go out and watch another misconstrued film about 'poor old Africa'. Hollywood has a way of reaching out to the masses of misinformed Americans to convince them to pull out their cheque books to help save more poor black lives in Africa. This time Hollywood came to the rescue of the West African nation of Sierra Leone, 10years, and thousands of dead bodies too late.

To be fair, Blood Diamond ,makes some effort to dramatize the degree to which Western jewelers exploit and sometimes even exacerbate, civil unrest in Africa in order to obtain diamonds and the film even implies to ensure that diamond prices remain sufficiently high to ensure greater profit.

What irked me was the smug self righteousness that is surrounding the movie. The New York Times article "Diamonds are for Never", quotes all of these types talking about how they absolutely couldn't countenance it. I'm they feel that way, but 1) there's no way guarantee a conflict-free diamond unless you buy it from some other part of the world; and 2) did you even know what conflict until the hype surrounding this movie? the movie itself finishes with a few notes about the Kimberley Process and then extorts movie-goers never to buy a conflict diamond. Great idea, but it's very hard to do.

Maybe I read too much into things, but while sitting in the movie theaters before the movie started, I couldn't help but look around the theater to notice that other than the weird black dude with snow white, I was the only person of colour in the entire movie theater. For the first time in a long time a felt oddly out of place, like I should have left the suburbs to watch this movie. I was pretty damn sure that walking out the movie theaters I would have had hoards of chipper white folks offering their condolences for the loss of my mother in the Sierra Leone war, or the fact that my little brothers had to be forced into the R.U.F as child soldiers for the rebels. Come to think of it.. I shouldn't have run out of the movie theaters the last 2mins of the movies, I could have walked away with enough of a handout to pay off my student loans.

All jokes aside..but how long will the entire continent of Africa be the charity case for the rest of the world? And how long will Hollywood use the misfortunes of Africa to create their own? I don't know how much more I can take of Hollywood exploiting us to make them feel better about themselves. Or how much more we as Africans will allow the rest of the world to do that to us. Like one of the characters in the movie said "People are inherently good"....African people are good people with good intentions, its not until some of these people rise to power, rob an entire nation of its dignity, resources and money...only to then retire in exile in another country. Never ending cycle of African politics. Overall, its an okay movie, its a bit over top when it comes to the action stuff but over all it depicts the real deal of the world and the realities of child soldiers. I would suggest everyone to watch the movie, not so they'll think twice about buying diamonds, but so they can get a lesson in the recent history of Sierra Leone.

My Japanese Characters don't work :(

2006-12-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

Working on the designs folks, and soon enough I'll have them posted up for you guys to vote on. I've been experiencing writer's block lately, except its more like artist block.......well in that case it should just be artists' block then...right? Well anywho, perhaps I'm being a bit of a perfectionist but I've scrapped more designs than I have actually kept. I'm being a bit too picky if you ask me, but its been a long time since I've doodled in my scrap book and actually ended up with a design that I really like. I'll keep doodling though, somethings going to eventually catch my eye.

I've done it! I've finally went to the zoo and boy was it a blast. I'll have to upload the pics from my trip to the zoo as soon I get some time to. I'm actually proud of myself. I usually set mini goals for myself and never actually get around to doing them. So a huge KUDOS to me....I saw the penguins.

So how freaking incredible is this: I finally decided to help out my co-worker with her training class and in her class were two Japanese interpreters who were looking for a position with us here. Finally I can take my Japanese language skills to the next level....Real Japanese folks. I dunno about you but I just can't seem to contain myself. The cool part is, they say I'm pretty good, and am a quick learner. That's the sorta thing you want to hear after struggling for the past several years to teach yourself. To be honest, I've been obsessed with the Japanese language and culture for a while now. I can remember as far back as being around 8 or 9 years old and turning the pages of the National Geographic; they were doing a piece on Japan, and I remember being completely mesmerized with the images of the city, country and shrines. I made up my mind right then and there that Japan was where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. More than 14 years later, I'm still in North America...... I'm meeting up with my new Japanese buddies this weekend for coffee and so I can help them study for the test hopefully I can get a couple of lessons out of it too.

取得心配!

Cow fart!....Ofrourse

2006-12-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that when I looked out of my window there was a river. It was a wide one and I remember identifying it as a braided stream, with mid-channel bars colonised by vegetation (pink flowers) but after staring at it for a while it suddenly morphed into miles of desert. I didn't think it was strange at that point, it felt so natural and peaceful to be admiring a vast sandy landscape. Out of the blue it occurred to me that one spot exhibited fluvial scarring that ceased more than four thousand years ago as well as more recent evidence of water presence, and when my mind decided that the glaciers were melting I abruptly began to quote word for word an entire page from my Geography lecture notes, one of those that utterly disgust me now because it turned out to be totally irrelevant during the recently concluded exams. After that it became hard to breathe, and instinctively I knew that those were greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide and methane. The last thought I remember having before I woke up is one that accurately pinpoints the source of my frustration today, that I never got to write these four words during the Geography exam: Cow fart produces methane.

I'm Cool Like DAT

2006-12-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

I'm a pacifist, and that's a barrier that I have created for myself, because it is what I think is right. I accept responsibility for that fact.. just as I realize that I could easily break past it, and accept responsibility for that as well.

I have over a dozen of side projects that I'm working on, and that I never really get the chance to finish up on. A big one in particular is my art. I never really thought I was any good but according to others around me I am.. Surprise.... Well anywho, I'm about to finally take one of my side projects seriously. I've been designing t-shirts for a while, considering that's mainly what my day to day wardrobe consists of. I've been juggling around a few ideas, and a few different designs for the past couple of days and finally getting the help that I need. I meeting up with an old college buddy of mine whose into designing. In fact, she's actually made quite the profit from her own t-shirt company... I'm not really looking to make any profit from this, a) because I doubt I'll really have a demographic of people buying and, b) any profit I make from this I'd rather donate to help out with books and supplies for a few schools back home in Somalia.

Gosh darn it.. I've been dying to go to the zoo for the past month, but haven't found one person yet whose willing to go with me. Everyone either gives me this odd look, or questions why the hell I'd want to go to the zoo in the dead of winter. Why go out to the movies and watch "Happy Feet".... When I can go tot he zoo and see real penguins...huh??<---solid reasoning there! Well I've decided I'm just going to go to the zoo by damn self, screw everyone else. I can take some pretty cool pics too!

So far this week has been a lot better. I realized that sometimes I take things a bit too the heart and let things build up before I can actually confront them and deal with them. I think I've also been a bit too hard on my Mr.X ... I don't mean to but because he's the closest person to me, I tend to take a lot of my aggression out on him. I appreciate him for understanding, and despite everything I've been going through being patient with me. He's reminded me of how much I've let my current adversaties get to me. How much I believe in being completely responsible for your actions, how much I believe that we create who we are with every choice that we make, that no one can do it for us... How we can blame no one for the faults within us, how we can only blame ourselves; and yet, blame is not exactly the right word. Blame is so useless... Its recognition that we must have and from recognition we can bring about change because everything about us can be changed. The power of the mind can over come any obstacle.

Breathe

2006-12-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

Random Quote:

" Self pity is our worse enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world"

- Helen Keller

So the other day I broke down... I cried. I guess the realities of my life finally caught up with me. I've been battling my fair share of personal demons for a long time now but battling them alone , unknown to the rest of the world. Lately, it seems that my demons have come to surface, and those around me have started to notice certain insecurities I've tried to keep hidden from them. I've come to the conclusion that the complex, perplexed labyrinth that is my life is readily spiraling out of control. I'm not happy--certain people make me happy, but unfortunately I continuously find ways to disappoint them, and myself.

Breathe

Its obvious to any one that war is imminent in the Horn of Africa once again. After 16years of war, chaos and strife how much more can we take of this. Its pretty sad to see the people of my nation being forced back into the already to well known reality of civil war, famine, death and displacement. The only difference is this time Somalia is not fighting under the pretense of tribal lineage, contrary to what some believe, but rather both sides in the looming conflict paint their confrontation in ideological terms. If you ask me, its all been about personal gain in the recent history of Somalia. Every war mongering warlord with enough dough in his off shore bank accounts and enough qaad to lure hopeless young men onto the back of their 'technicals', took advantage of the bad situation which is Somalia, only for personal gain. For the first time in a long time since the emergence of the United Islamic Courts, Somalia has had some hope of real security and normalcy for its citizens. The last thing the people of Somalia need now is more warlords taking advantage of them for their own gain, this includes the TFG and Ethiopia. The TFG and Ethiopia have cast Somalia as an emerging front in the Global War on Terror in order to attract support from Western capitals--notably Washington and London.

I feel overly selfish at times when I read about the tribulations facing many in my country. My heart breaks for them, and I pray that Insha'Allah they'll have happier days soon. It doesn't seem that way right now. Recently floods have destroyed meagre food stocks for communities that were struggling to recover from the effects of a severe drought earlier this year, putting children at a high risk for malnutrition. Up to 1.8 million people are at risk from cholera, measles, malaria and other killer diseases following the floods that have ravage many parts of the country. War is most definitely the last thing they need right now.

May Allah(SWT) look over all the innocent men, women and children stuck in the constant tidal wave of destruction and war in Somalia. May HE cure the rest of the world and the aggressors of Somalia from the ideology of Western Islamaphobia---Ameen. Lets all keep the people of Somalia in our prayers!

WORLD AIDS DAY

2006-12-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately AIDS is celebrating its 25th anniversary. 25 million Africans have died, 60 million people around the world are infected with AIDS; close to 40 million people are living with HIV...the death toll is one problem, them economic structure of what it's doing to it is another problem.

The AIDS epidemic is one of the most significant health related events of the 20th centuary. The financial and social costs are staggering, promising to become greater still and health care delivery is under going phenomenal changes to cope with the epidemic. According to UNAIDS estimates there are 39.5 million people living with HIV, including 2.3 children, and during 2006 some 4.3 million people became newly infected with the virus. Around half of the people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35. Around 95% of people with HIV/AIDS live in developing nations. But HIV today is a threat to men, women and children on all continents around the world.

AIDS was first discovered around 1981, though the first confirmed case dates back to 1959. Scientists believe that it came from Green Monkeys from South Africa. These Green Monkeys had a disease called SIV ( Simian(monkey) Immune Deficiency Vius). This virus is similar to the virus called HIV (Human Immune Deficiency Virus) HIV causes AIDS. Scientists still wonder how the disease was transferred from monkey to humman.

Sub-Saharan Africa is more heavily affected by HIV and AIDS than any other region of the world. An estimated 24.5 million people were living with HIV at the end of 2005 and approximately 2.7 million new infections occurred during that year.1 In just the past year the epidemic has claimed the lives of an estimated 2 million people in this region. More than twelve million children have been orphaned by AIDS.

The extent of the epidemic is only now becoming clear in many African countries, as increasing numbers of people with HIV are becoming ill. In the absence of massively expanded prevention, treatment and care efforts, it is expected that the AIDS death toll on the continent will continue to rise. This means that the epidemic's impact on these societies will be felt most strongly in the course of the next ten years and beyond. Its social and economic consequences are already widely felt, not only in the health sector but also in education, industry, agriculture, transport, human resources and the economy in general.

Considering all these statistics one wonders how Somalia is dealing with the HIV/AIDS epidemic. There is very little information available on HIV/AIDS in Somalia, as our war raveged nation has been without an operating health administration or health service since the beginning of the war over a decade ago. In many places in Somalia we are not just talking about people who do not know how HIV/AIDS is transmitted, we are talking about people who have never even heard of the disease. "HIV" and "AIDS" are words hardly ever heard in Mogadishu. But the deadly disease is certainly present according to local humanitarian workers. The biggest problem is to get people in Mogadishu- where there have been no government health services for over 10 years-to believe it. At present, the prevelance of HIV/AIDS in Somalia is believed to be under one percent, but Somalia is surrounded by high risk countries like Kenya, Djibouti, and Ethiopia and has huge diaspora outside Africa.

One of the most difficult aspects of raising public awarness is the deep seated belief in Somalia that HIV/AIDS is a "non Muslim disease" and a foreign affliction. Compared to other regions in Africa, public awarness of HIV/AIDS is relatively low in Somalia and the available information on HIV prevelance and rish behaviors has been limited, leaving communities vulnerable to the virus trhough lack of information. Somalia's HIV prevalance is estimated at 0.9 percent of the population, according to a World Health Organization survery in 2004 of pregnant woman in atenatal clinics. But no comprehensive studies have been done in Somalia. If accurate, that roate would be one of the lowest in Africa. We are at the beginning, beginning stage where everythis is based on fear.

Nevertheless, there have been notable achievement in Somalia in the last few years. Financing from the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria has allowed the expansion of HIV services; people are being traind as VCT counsellors, blood is now checked before transfusions and life prolonging atiretrovirals are being given to 80 patients in Hargeisa. Strides are being made, HIV/AIDS awarness groups have been pushing the importance of this disease more vigoroulessly in recent years, and it seems as though that although all these efforts have been made nothing seems to slow down the pace of this epidemic. In places like Somalia, and most of Sub-Sahara Africa people find talking about AIDS or any STD for that matter to be taboo. Lets pray that people start paying attention to the seriousness of this plague and lives can start being saved.

6 weird things

2006-11-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

I've been on a bit of a vaction, so its taken a bit before I could answer to this. Seems as though I've been tagged by firefly to list 6 weird things about me. Well here they go:

1) I have no friends. Not that I'm just really that weird, or that I'm a loner, I just don't like to fit people into pretty little lables-people shouldn't be labled...right? Plus whats the point of labelling someone a friend when I don't share personal details of my life with anyone? Odd, a few years ago one of my coolest buddy's said, "Milga I've known you for 10 years and yet I know little about you"

2) I hate--- I repeat I HATE carpeted bathrooms. I'm actually extremely particular when it comes to bathrooms all together. I clean out my shower everyday before I step into it, and after i step out.

3) I'm constantly on a diet, but never lose any weight. As odd as that sounds the problem is I never stick to a diet. Though I've been quite active lately.. I just cant get away from chocolate and pop.

4) I'm deadly afraid of feathers. Yes, feathers, like from a bird. Birds are dirty digusting creatures.. and for the longest time the mere sight of a feather gets me cringing and screaming

5) When I was younger I had this obsession over my hands. I refused to get my hands dirty in any sort of way, and would constantly wash them. I remember once I was out riding bikes with some kids and I hit the curb. Instead of putting my hands out infront my to soften the fall, the first thing that came to my head was how dirty the grass was. So I threw my hands behind me and went for the fall face first

6) There is no number 6, cause I'm not weird.. all of the above are perfectly normal human traits.

Best Birthday Gift

2006-11-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

Yup folks it was that kind of weekend. Best damn college football team around---my Ohio State Buckeyes kicked ass this weekend against Michigan.

Oh yeah, and its my birthday today. I don't really celebrate my birthday, instead I take time out that day to show my mother how much I appreciate her. It was her in fact who did all the hard work.. and then had to put up with me all these years. So a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mother. I've put off any sort of celebrating until this weekend. I'm going up to Seattle to for my cousins' wedding..aka my twinny. Not so excited about the wedding; more excited about being the only girl invited to the bachelors party.. thanx Dew!

Untitled

2006-11-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Before you go on to read the remainder of this post let me just say for the record: I hate self pity and have a sense of absurdity about most things. Hence, this post is not aimed to receive any sort of pity from anyone reading this post, including myself.

Once upon a time, in the months before a stressful job, trying to figure what to do with my life, love, a semi dysfunctional family and grad school; I use to be a positive and happy go lucky person. Now it seems as though things are moving a bit too fast for my liking. Gosh, THE MAN, wasn't kidding when he said time flies. Not only is it flying it seems as though its sticking its tongue out at me and flicking me off as it hovers quickly over my head. Think I've mentioned over and over again that I'm a very quirky person, and have weird little ways about myself, and because of my odd ways, I have very little friends. The ones I do have, I would hardly consider them friends at all. Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines a friend as: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Milga doesn't have such a person in her life apart from her family. The only people I regard with this sense of attachment and affection are my mother, father and my siblings. I've never in my life really have that one person in my life who was close enough with me where I felt comfortable letting them into my my mind and my true emotions.

In all honesty, I'm emotional and vulnerable. When hurt, I withdraw into a clause of silence, eventually emerging from my reticence with jokes and laughter that cover up my true feelings. That's why I have my overly depressed phases once in a while, that usually last for weeks, sometimes even more than a month. I become moody and cynical when depressed, where I succumb to sarcastic remarks, which can be painful to those around me... Especially those the closest to me. The older I get the harder I find it to express my self and get into all that extra mushy inner feelings stuff--the harder it is to make real true friends.

Though I'm in a healthy and committed relationship with someone right now, the hardest obstacle for the both of us has been my sense of personal reliance of my inner feelings thoughts and worries. I hate pity, I hate self pity, I hate pity period. I don't want to feel as though I've failed myself in trying to figure out things that happen, and finding solutions to the problems that may come my way. I'm an optimist and possess resilience to over come many setbacks, and have always relied on me and only me to do so--if I can help it.. With that and my prayers to Allah, things have worked out for me Alhamdulilah. So why can't I get over this hump? I dunno... Why can't I share whats been going on with me, instead of trying to mask it with fakes smiles and laughs.. And the ever so often reply to people when they ask whats wrong.. "No really, I'm fine"

Perhaps its because I've always thought that the problems.. Or obstacles in my life are extremely minute compared to whats going on in the rest of the world, or with other people around me for that matter. In more than one way, I'm blessed and I'm fortunate, and I'd hate to share the little things that bother me, only because I know a lot of people who would kill to trade their laundry lists of misfortunes with me anytime. We live in a world where the four richest people in the United States have accumulated more wealth than the GDP of the 40 poorest countries. Where children do back breaking labor that faces them with deformity before puberty. Where the Bush regime is waging an epistemological assault on society and a campaign of repression on anyone who contradicts the U.S., narrative of history and how the world works. Kevin Federline (K-FED) was kicked to the curb by Britney Spears, left broke and even more pathetic than before; dealing with not only 1 but 2 baby mama dramas at the same time. O.J Simpson yet again made headlines and stabbed the world wrong (no pun intended) with his attempt to make money via his new book If I did it<---(nigga we know you did it). With all this going on in the world.. who am I to complain... Perhaps I need to just suck things up and move on!

To sum up my depression mode, I've realized a few things during my self reflection time.... I'm old enough to be satisfied with what I have and young enough to still want more. Lucky enough to have been really stupid and lived to tell about it--cursed enough to have a good memory. Intelligent enough to understand that I still have a lot to learn, and ignorant enough to continually prove to myself that I still haven't.

I can't wait to get over this!

Lean wit it.. Rock wit it

2006-11-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted to music... I think. Is that a treatable addiction? I've been beyond depressed for the past week or so....Wait it's been more than a week now. I can't help but feel depressed, and I can't really put my finger on what exactly triggered my aggression and depression. It doesn't help that its that ..Well ..You know.. When a girl.. Yah .. Know.. Has that visitor.. ya know like once a month...Yeah that was truly the icing on the cake!

Last week my obsession to try to get over my depression had been watching random documentaries from prostitution in Armenia to the very touching "Lwala". This week however, I've surrounded my self with music. Seems as though I have to continually re-charge my ipod, for I listen to it at work, listen to it studying, listen to it in the car, at home, at the library... Heck its become a part of me, the thought of having it surgically implanted into my ear doesn't seem like one that's far fetched right about now.

GlueBoys

2006-11-14T21:48:00.000-07:00

"Some call us street boys-some call us Chokora. Children don't have parents here, we don't have houses and we don't have food. All we have is the glue we sniff. Do we have hope? I hope so?"

For the past couple of days, I've done nothing but eat icecream, snap odd pictures of myself and watch documentaries. I came across a few interesting ones, but this one in particular caught my attention. Though the documentary is not out in its entirety yet, I was able to catch the trailer on our trusty youtube, or on the website itself.

Ever since I received pictures back from my brother in Somalia of the local glue boys in Xamar(ciyaal koleey), I've been racking my brains over how people can just sit back and go on with life, knowing these young kids have nothing to look forward to in life expect for the hallucinating dreams they have while high off of glue. Cheap and easy to get, the children use glue to numb the feelings of cold, hunger and rejection.

Sniffing is not regarded as a habit like using marijuana, cocaine or heroine. Yet it is substance abuse and can effect the physical and mental state of the user just as fatally. Most sniffers use shoemender's glue, it gives a temporary intoxication with hallucinations. During the hallucinations the user has very little control physically. He may experience a good "high" feeling, but not always. Sometimes the high may be a nightmare and he becomes violent. To increase the effect the sniffers put the glue into discarded plastic milk bags or plastic bottles. He then blows into the bag and quickly sniffs his breath and the glue vapor back. For about five minutes he is totally out of control.

One would read the above paragraph and envision a young man in his teenage years out on the streets. Its quite the contrary a large percent of these glue boys are young boys with the average age being about 10 years old. We must recognize that it is a serious problem, sniffing can lead to more serious behavior disorders. More often it leads to an early death. The boys spend what little they have on glue, which the shoemenders irresponsibly sell them. They don't eat and they die of starvation on the streets or maybe under the wheels of a car as they dance through the streets high off their glue fumes.

Perhaps this documentary trailer will open your eyes up a bit more to the glue sniffing epidemic effecting a lot of the next generations poor and unfortunate kids. Lets keep them all in our prayers, and may Allah(swt) guide these young ones into the arms of caring and responsible guardians.

To blog, or not to blog

2006-11-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

Ever have that certain time in your life where people are suddenly not interesting at all. Even your next of kin or your very close friend, or perhaps even your significant other...Nothing and no one seems interesting to you. That's the sort of week I've been having, hence the huge block out in my blog page. For more than a week now I've avoided anyone who talks, walks, breaths, has 5 senses, two arms, two legs and uses the bathroom like I do. Why? I dunno! I have funny little ways about myself I just don't like people sometimes... I dunno.

On a good note, I'm over that phase, well at least for now, so I guess the universe is back in order. Although I'm back in this good mood I haven't been doing a lot of work on my computer as I usually do. I've went back to old traditional habits of writing in my journal that carry with me ALWAYS---see for all you people who wonder why I carry such huge bags... Now you know why! I've been watching one documentary after the other, and have filled up my journal with random thoughts, quotes and feelings on every movie that I've watched. I'd share them, except I was writing to fast, and I can't read my own writing. Hopefully, I'll go back to my old habit of happy blogging again.

I'm an Auntie!!!

2006-11-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

Well not yet! I called my brother late last night randomly just to check up on him, he was in a rush on his way to work but he did have enough time to give me the good news that Masha'Allah his wife is pregnant with their first child. I don't know if my mother has some good ass baby alert senses, but that woman popped out of her bed so quick and screamed out "Was that Egal? Is Ayan pregnant"? Before the words were totally out of my mouth my mother was in this odd place between crying and laughing hysterically.

I guess that means my baby senses were pretty good, I sensed this good news coming and I'm beyond happy today. My brother's going to be a daddy, my mother's going to be a granny, my brother's going to be an uncle, my father's going to be a grand daddy, and my sisters and I are going to be aunts--Insha'Allah. A year ago today, I would have never believed I'd see myself saying all of the above. Imagined my brother either dead or in jail Subhan'Allah. Alhamdulilah, he's not the man he was a year ago, now he's a responsible son, brother, husband and in the near future Insha'Allah a father. I'm absolutely beaming you'd think I'm pregnant with my my own darn child.

Today indeed is a good day!

Xayaad

2006-10-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

I came across this picture and just thought it was beautiful. On a day like this where the world celebrates all that is evil, grotesque and disturbing, this picture makes me smile. It also made me think of a Xasan Adan Samatar song--Xayaad

ruuxaad ka dhawrtaan naxariista dhamiyee indhahaagu dhudiyayee dhugashada ku roonaaa dhexdu taaka iyo laba dheraadka diidee hadii la isku dhaarsado ma la dhaafin karayaa

dhawr sano iyo shiibaaka dhawrsaday haweenkoo jacayl kooda dhumiyoo dhaqashada ka doortee uma dhiganin caashaqa inaan soo dhaweyee xayaadey dhibaatada adigay igu dhaliyee

dhabanyadaada xaada lehe howa dheehiyo labeenta lehe howaa sumayaasha dhinacyadee howaa

geesaha u dhaadhacayee howaa

sida dhayda caanaha indhahaaga dhuunka ah

timahaaga dheereee dhufashada dabayluhu hadba dhinac u rogayaan dhameelka hawdiyo hadad tahay hunguri dhubuq dhuuntaan ku marin laa

karar dhabadka jilaal

dhulkoo dhamac ku yuurura

dhibicdii u hoorttee

dhoobada ka meedhaa quruxdiisa geel dhalayiyo dhaqanka xoolaha dharaar wacan sidaadtay dhugashaad ku roontee

dhilawyahanka geedaha ee howaa

dhirta loogu daw galayee howaa
igu dhereri caashaqayee howaa

dhexda igu kaa marayee howaa

bal waxaa ku dhaafsado dhuunigu ma helayaa

timahaaga dheereee

dhufashada dabayluhu hadba dhinac u rogayaan

dhameelka hawdiyo hadad tahay hunguri dhubuq

dhuuntaan ku marin laa

Whoa!

2006-10-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Whoa indeed it was one hell of a weekend. If I have endless typos, misspellings and just loads of random crap written in this entry, please do excuse me for I'm working on only 3hrs of sleep today.

My two cousins and a friend of mine came down from Toronto to spend the weekend with me. Why they did that? I don't know! Considering I do live in Hilliard, Oh, I don't know why anyone on earth would want to come down and spend their valuable weekend in this barren place. Nevertheless, I'm not complaining its good to have my Toronto people around to remind me home for a bit. I scrambled all week trying to find 'fun' things to do, but I'm such an uncool person. I mean my idea of a good time is reading a book in Barns&Noble before catching a movie by myself. I should be glad though a good friend of mine who owns a shi shi lounge in town was sponsoring a Somali party Saturday night and suggested that I should take my cousins out to that. Milga and Somali parties don't go well together. Every Somali party I've ever attended I've been forced to go to and here he is expecting me to present the idea of going to my cousins . So I frantically tried to find other things to do this weekend, but at the end that looked like the only thing they'd be interested in doing. This now meant I had to go out and find something decent to wear to this event. My wardrobe strictly consists of hoodies, jeans, t-shirts, and scarves-- that's it.. Nothing dressy nothing exciting. I have a bunch of straight black suits and grey suits for the office... But again nothing too exciting. My buddy and I went out to grab something suitable to wear--i.e girly. Is it me, or is the world of retail clothing just catering to sluts and pre-teen drama queens? Where the hell is rest of the cloth on some of these clothes bisinka! Who thought of the concept of wearing long sweaters and stockings was a good idea? Everything was either WAY too expensive for my broke ass to purchase or just way too revealing for my fat ass to wear. I ended up grabbing a nice shirt and wearing it with a brand new pair of jeans and some black pumps....Why not?

The party was a waste--thank God I didn't have to pay. I didn't know how darn depressing it was actually attending these Somali shing dings. Its sad to see so many drunk, young and confused Somali youth running around out there. I aint no Mother Teresa, but it seems as though all values and morals have gone out the window for many in my generation. What was even more disturbing was the fact that the bar inside the concert hall was selling alcohol at an ALL Somali venue? War waawareey!!!!

We left the party as soon as it let out, trying to avoid all unwanted attention and the inevitable amount of fights that were due to break out. A good friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to meet up at his house with a few other close friends. My cousins weren't really up to this, since they were really tired from the long ride from Toronto to Ohio. I dropped them off at my house and headed out to hang out with my friends for just a bit. When I got there I was surprised to see my very cool uncle in town, that sorta justified leaving my guests to further party with my buddies. As soon as I settled in said hi to all my friends there was suddenly a racket outside from the apartment. For some odd reason word got out that there was an after party going on at my friends house, now all of a sudden all of the local drunkards and weirdos were standing in front of my friends 1st floor apartment pushing and shoving their way in. Lets just say it didn't end up pretty. A huge fight broke out, all of his windows were broken and we had one hell of a mess to clean up. Never again will you hear about Milga and a party!

War? All over again?

2006-10-27T14:43:00.000-06:00

Finally I think the reality of my brother living in Somalia set in for me. I haven't really talked to him for the past few days, last we talked he and his wife were making were getting ready to move into their new house closer to where my aunt and cousin live.

You'd have to be living under a rock to not notice the imminent changes that have been going on in Somalia. The UIC declared Jihad on Ethiopia, and Ethiopian President Meles Zenawi said that Ethiopia was "technically" at war with Somalia.

With talks scheduled between the UIC and the Transitional Government this Monday, chances of some sort of agreement look very slim. The UIC refuses to have any sort of face to face discussion with the TGF so long as Ethiopian troops are on Somali soil, and the TGF continue to accuse the UIC to have links with Al Qaeda. At the same time, prospects for proximity talks in the Sudanese capital were also clouded as the UIC said they would not accept neighboring Kenya as co-chair of the talks because of NairobiÂ?s alleged bias toward the government.

Whatever the amount may be I can't help but to be concerned about my brother and his young wife (maybe even a baby on the way Insha'Allah). The last thing our nation needs is another war.

Out of the Dark Ages

2006-10-24T12:29:00.000-06:00

As you can tell, I've changed the template of my blog. About bloody time don't you think? I think I could get use to this, I mean the other one was a bit too dark and gloomy. I guess, that was my general aura during that time. Now I'm at a time in my life that I'm truly happy and content, why not let my blog reflect that !

Eid Mubarak

2006-10-23T22:41:00.000-06:00

Eid in Xamar, Masha'Allah the first time in a long time that Eid was celebrated like this in our nations capitol, may there be many more peaceful celebrations to come!

Eid Mubarak All!! May the Mercy & blessing of the Almighty be with you, your family, and friends during this auspicious Eid Blessings Day and continue to be always, and May Allah (swt) have accepted all our prayers/duas during this blessed month of Ramadan, Insha'Allah

Boy did those 30 days go by pretty fast! Is it me or is the world going pretty fast. Alhamdulilah this was the time of the year to reflect about your past, present and future. A lot of things have changed this year. The obvious-- my brother moving to Somalia and getting married (still no word if I'm an aunty yet....), I've graduated and off to grad school, living with the family again (I'm still trying to get use to that), and Insha'Allah I'll shall be tying the knot pretty soon myself.

In the days leading up to Eid, I've also taken out some time to reflect on myself, and my faith. Unfortunately I'm not where I want to be with that yet, but Insha'Allah I will put that on the top of list of things to observe closely. I've noticed that I do not have a very close relationship with my faith, and in a lot of ways I'm lacking in knowledge. This obscures is all my fault. For the longest amount of time now I've found a way to put everything before religion and Allah and hardly ever get time to sit back and reflect and be a humble worshipper. I have many different reasons for this... I shall explain later...
Again Eid Mubarak All

Oh Boy!

2006-10-16T13:25:00.000-06:00

Its been a while, hasn't it? Well I guess we can blame mom for that., finally she's back. After weeks of begging and pleading for her to return, she's here to take back her life i.e her bills, kids, husband, and many other responsibilities. You'd think for all my hard work, my mother would have been thoughtful enough to bring me back a gift showing her gratitude, but NOOOOO!-- Nothin-- Nada-- Rien. She came back with smiles, stories, video, and a big "Oh my God Milga you're FAT". Here I was thinking a shed a few pounds, guess not; mom was right I am fat.

More than anything I was excited to have her back because she had in her possession my brother's wedding video. Mansa'Allah his wife is even more beautiful than before, they look gorgeous together, May Allah grant them a marriage full of joy and happiness. I can't watch his video though without balling my eyes out. Considering everything my family had to go through to see him at this point in his life, I can't help but becoming overwhelmed with the images of his happiness. My brother is living proof that with trust and prayers, Allah guides. His lovely wife Ayan, was kind enough to send us some gifts she made herself. She sent over 6 dresses she made--3 for my cousins (whom were raised with us), and 3 for my two sisters and I. She's really quite talented, you'd think she had our measurements the way the fit everyone perfectly. Well at least almost everyone. Before making them, she asked my brother who out of all of the 6 girls was the heaviest, of course he'd said me. I mean I'm a bit heavy set compared to those skinny wenches; but poor Ayan pictured me a huge whale, and made me a dress that only fit when I stuffed it with all the throw pillows on my couch. Either way I'm very thankful, and trying to find a way to express that to her...Perhaps I should have the dress altered and send her pics of me at the dinner table EATING.

With the return of mom, also came by far one of the toughest weeks yet. For some odd reasons, all the pressures of this past summer finally caught up with me. I'm not sure I'm putting my complete effort into schools and my studies, and oddly enough it doesn't bother me. I don't think I was ready to go back to school, and fear that I'll eventually flunk out of Grad School. Work is beyond hectic and with the huge Hispanic fiasco that happened this weekend, I've reconsidered my platonic friendship with some co-workers. My boyfriend and I have been getting into a lot of weird little tiffs and taffs lately. Perhaps my pms had some blame in all of this, as I tend to become a bit sensitive during this time of the month, but we had our fair share of disagreements. InshaAllah we can smooth things back out again. Sometimes these sorts of arguments are important to have with your future hubby. All in all its been a tough week, but Alhamdulilah it looks like its over now.

DaaLo

2006-10-15T22:01:00.000-06:00

I found this really funny

Welcome to DaaLo Airlines. Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Sharmaarke welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of DaaLo Airlines . We apologize for the four-days delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Hargeisa.

Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in Somalia. If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!

DaaLo Airlines has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 30% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable.

We serve complimentary tea and laxoox ...! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there is really a God! We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to British Airways, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know.Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark! Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your set-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate toget in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.

Thanks for your cooperation

Enjoy DaaLo Airlines

Here I am!

2006-10-02T11:33:00.000-06:00

World here he is. On Saturday September 30, 2006, Bilal joined us. Alhamdulilah healthy and happy he was delivered by C-section Saturday night at 9:00pm. My cousin Xiis and his wife of 2yrs Halima welcomed their first child into the world. I've never seen him so happy. Within minutes of his baby boys arrival, my cousin was sending pics and video taping on his phone every subtle move little Bilal made. I was planning to go down to MN again, for business related reasons, and was praying that his wife would go into labour about the same time I was there. I have no control over such things, for I'm a mere mortal, Allah's plan for us is so much bigger, and Bilal was ready to join us and see what all the racket was about. Healthy and happy here he is. One of the best things about growing up in a huge extended family, is that you have so many siblings. Xiis is like my brother, therefore Bilal is my nephew and I can't wait to spoil the little man rotten. May he grow up to be healthy, happy and may Allah keep him in his care forever.

Mom is in Dubai!!!!! I feel like I have to track her every moves now. She's almost home...Yuppie. This weekend I woke up with the overwhelming urge to cook a feast unlike one I've ever cooked before. I got up energized and ready to go. Called on my troops.....Well just my little sister...And headed off to the halal and grocery store. I walked through the aisles picking up anything that remotely looked like my mother would use to cook. I picked up stuff I couldn't pronounce and things that looked like could have been in my mother's pantry. I stocked up on meat, spices and veggies......Any and everything....There goes half the paychecks I was fighting for. I got home, to find out that I was the only one fasting that day. My 2 sisters and my good buddy were on 'vacation', and because of work related issues my father and brother weren't coming over.

All this food for nothing? Oh well. Since Ramadan started we could all feel the huge void of my mother's absence. When she's around Ramadan feels like its suppose to. Ya know you never really appreciate people till they're not around. I made it a must to make our house feel like mom never left. I slaved in the kitchen, filled up the table and ate.....By myself.

No one thought I was serious. They figured I'd pick up a sandwich from Donatos and call it a feast. So they all ate out and came home only to find my pitiful self slouched over the dining room table, with a feast large enough to feed the Dallas Cowboys, tired and stuffed. Talk about being under-appreciated.

I'm confused....Really...I am

2006-09-29T12:12:00.000-06:00

I'm back from my trip and loved every second of it. I guess some things in life are worth the 2hrs of straight turbulence, and the annoying passenger sitting beside you looking over to see what you're eating and reading. Thanx hun! I had a blast xoxo.

My lord, is time flying or what. I've been meaning to update this place for a while, but nothing really exciting happened to me (like anything exciting every happens to me). Looks like mom should be making her way back home soon, Insha'Allah--just when I get use to being around the little buggers. Though its not official, I have the feeling that I'm going to be an aunty soon. I can't help it but I have this overwhelming feeling that my brothers wife is pregnant--do people sense this sort of thing? Is this normal? I haven't been up to much at all, I don't even know what the hell I'm writing about right now. I've been experiencing the worst writer's block ever. Looking over my syllabus I've got 2 huge term papers due this quarter..... International relations and under developed nations....I've got to get a cure for this writers block pretty soon.

5 Random thoughts:

Jeez I wish the stupid HR department, or our sorry excuse for one, would stop screwing up my cheques. I wish I can go one pay period without looking like the angry black woman screaming about dollars and cents.
I wish I could be a bit more stronger when it comes to my faith. I'm trying my hardest to take advantage of this blessed month. Best thing about it, its the best time to educate myself as well as educating my co-workers about our miraculous faith. Boy do these people ask questions.......
Pulling my hair out trying to schedule things. Work, school, and everything in between. InshaAllah, I'll find the strength to balance all of this out without losing any hair.
What the hell happened to 'Greys Anatomy'? Why does every popular new show eventually become a soft porn drama? I use to love that show first season. Now its over done with sexual topics...Does everyone in that show screw each other?
I'm happy....Plain old happy...He makes me happy.....I'm complete

Its Friday.....

2006-09-22T13:09:00.000-06:00

Friday finally came around, Alhamdulilah for yet another day. My mood hasn't changed much I hope it does pretty soon. I'm flying out later on tonight to Minnesota to spend the weekend with the one who makes my heart skip a beat. It was suppose to be a surprise, but anyone who knows me, knows I can't keep a secret worth a nickel. Insha'Allah I should be back to my usual agenda on Monday, same old same with the inclusion of school............school!!!??....Oh jeez I damn near forgot about school.

I'm looking forward to seeing my heart, its been over a month since the last time I've seen him. Feels good to spend the first weekend of Ramadan with your very best friend. Odd that I'm speaking this way about someone, but I can't help it. Though I'm not a very expressive person when comes to sharing my feelings, and my inner thoughts to people, I often hope that my actions, and my endless smiles and laughs when I am around him exhibits exactly the way I feel about him. I'm excited, nervous, and have this sense of security just being around him. Despite all the things that I've been going through lately, being a full time Communications manager for an ever busy company, a full time fill in mother to my younger sister, full time cook, student, daughter, sister, and ATM machine---- being around him makes me forget all of that. InshaAllah this weekend will be everything I want it to be and more.

Oh my ..did i get mushy..... Ramadan Kariim folks

Odd...No Topic

2006-09-21T10:46:00.000-06:00

My mood today is pretty somber. I've got some heavy decisions to make, and I feel a bit cornered right now. I'm going back to school pretty soon to start my masters program. Problem? Well it's going to be a bit difficult trying to balance out a demanding job, school and all that comes with it, and the fact that I'm responsible for my siblings until my mother returns back safely InshaAllah. Despite the fact that I feel like this, I'm happy. I understand why my mother is still away, I understand why nearly every penny I've earned this year went towards the family, why I have no choice but to find a balance for my extremely busy life.....Never the less Alhamdulilah I'm grateful that I'm able to get up every morning and do it every day healthy and kicking.

As usual, I called my two best buddies, my mom and my brother. My conversation with my mother was rather short this time simply because we talk every day, we're running out of things to really talk about. Oddly enough I found that recently I have longer and more in depth conversations with my brother. Considering we've always had this rocky relationship him and I, its kind of nice to actually have a close and tight relationship with him now. My mother spent the week at his house because his wife has been feeling a bit 'ill' lately......Are they gonna make me an Aunty soon???...Sure hope so. My mother was a bit hesitant to hint on this, but my brother was ecstatic at the thought that he may be a father soon, Insha'Allah. We had our usual thoughts about the different things he encounters daily in Xamar, and compared it to how things are here in the west. Now, my brothers been through a lot in his 24 years on this earth--drugs, alcohol, incarceration---- a lot; so in a lot of ways he's become a bit pacified and numb to a lot of things that a lot of us only see on television. Many things don't scare him, nor do they surprise him, but when he does see things that do, it hits him a lot harder that it would someone like me.

He told me about the amount of orphans he sees in the city, and the amount of young kids running around with no real guardianship or supervision over them. Most of these kids are what we call in Somali 'Is Koris'-in other words they raise themselves. My brother is pretty good with children, and spends his time playing soccer and talking with the kids. They take well to him. There was one child he said that stood out in particular to him, a young boy about 6years of age or seven, but because of malnutrition and a plain old rough life, he looks like he's about 4 or 5. The boy he said, spends his days wandering around aimlessly with no one really worried about where he goes and what he does----not so bad eh? The young boy also wastes away his days by sitting in corners and alleys sniffing glue and getting high.

With Ramadan coming up, lets all be grateful with what we have and where we are. Remember those less fortunate. Ramadan Kariim All!

Revamped

2006-09-19T07:41:00.000-06:00

I was talking to my mother the other night and I teasing her about her prolonged stay in Somalia. Funny thing is, she was so reluctant to go. I had to force her to go. Initially, she wanted my brother to go alone sometime in October or so, didn't feel like it was safe enough yet, considering he's never been there before. But after much pushing and pleading and letting her know that she needed to make such a trip, she finally decided to go.

That was a month and a half ago, she's still not back yet, and doesn't look like she's making any plans to return soon. While teasing her the other night, I joked with her that since she'll be spending the first week of Ramadan there, she'll be reminded of her childhood and won't want to come back. Growing up my mother would complain and say, Ramadan and Eid are not the same here in the west as they use to be in Somalia. In Somalia everyone would celebrate, take time off to prepare meals, come together with the entire family, pray together. Here she said, everything is always rushed--rush home from work, rush to prepare meals etc. I remembered her saying this to us, and thought --if my mom is reminded of how things use to be, she'll definitely not want to come back. I dunno, looks like its gonna turn out that way. I also talked to my older brother yesterday. First thing he asked was---how are you guys preparing for Ramadan'. Good question big bro...How are we? He went on to tell me about the furthered cleaning process going on in Xamar. Mosques that have been closed because they have been turned into garbage dumps for militia men are being cleaned up. Roads going to these Mosques have also started to be revamped and re-paved. Everyone is busy pitching in to make sure that Mosques are decent and clean and back in better shaped in time for Mogadishus faithful to pray there during Ramadan.

No one has prayed inside the Arbaa Rokn Mosque for years instead it was used as a garbage dump, and a make shift funeral site where rebels and thugs buried the bodies of the innocent they killed. Now the Mosque is preparing to be clean, and ready for the holy month of Ramadan where prayers will be held, Quran classes will be given, and Iftar banquets will be held for the poor. Arbaa Rokn Mosque, is in fact the oldest Mosque in Mogadishu dating back to the second half of the 19th century. My brother also told me about the huge amount of work that has been going on at the mosque near his house. Sheikh Ahmed Mosque which has been closed now for the past 15yrs has been going through a extensive restoration process, Insha'Allah they'll have it in at least decent condition for Ramadan.

Now, I'm not a big fan of getting too involved with Somali politics, but so far efforts like this make me want to give United Islamic Courts a chance. Seems as though despite the chaos in Somalia, my people started enjoying rare moments of peace and security since the Islamic Courts rose to power by capturing Mogadishu and other key areas in June from the US-backed warlords.

BuJu!

2006-09-17T07:34:00.000-06:00

Sorry I wasn't able to update this place a bit sooner, its been a terribly busy week, but Alhamdulilah, things look like they're back in order now. Excuse the real bad picture, I didn't have my camera with me, so this particular pic was taken with my pathetic excuse of a camera phone. Saturday a good friend of mine called me up and asked if I wanted to hang out with her. Considering I had a ridiculously long work week, which included me working 8am-6pm Friday only to come back a few hours later to work 12am-8am; I wasn't really in the mood of going out. That was until she mentioned that she went out and got us tickets to go to the Buju Banton concert. I've seen Buju Banton in concert before a while back in Toronto, and remember having a wicked ass time--- he kept throwing his fist up in the air and screaming "Somalia"..I was hoping to see this again..So I agreed to go.

I'm not a fan of some of my buddy Rookie's friends ..So I had to make sure who else would be going with us to the concert:

Nadia: the really big girl....Not that I have thing against really big girls, I just have a thing against them when they like to display their really big assets to the world. Nadia had no clue who Buju Banton was, she was just going because she was hoping to come home with a few numbers
Fi-Fi: or Brittany as I like to call her, she's just often clue-less... I think Fi-Fi was attacked by a dog before we got to her house.....her jeans were shattered and torn and looked like they were mauled by a pack of hyenas. She too had no clue who Buju Banton was, but was just going just for the sake of going.
Amina: or Grimey as we like to call her..... she has a funny accent but insists on quoting rap stars all the time and considers everything to be ' Garaaymiii Yo'. Grimey too had no clue who Buju was, but just went because her crush was gonna be there.

Just the rat packI knew she would have tagging along. I didn't really mind though, It was going to be a large venue so I knew I could easily lose them.

When we got up there, I felt like I was back in Toronto, in the Jane and Finch area to be exact. Jamaicans everywhere. The closer we got to the concert hall the more the smell of incense, un washed mangled hair, and weed got stronger. The place was set up pretty nicely. Outside were vendors that were selling everything from jerk chicken and cocoa bread, to Bob Marley and Haile Selassie t-shirts. They had a huge projector set up out there too so the people who opted to kick it outside could watch the show. I mean it was set up pretty cool, wicked vibes too, everyone was just chilled and relaxed and friendly....You think the ganja had anything to do with this? Inside the venue was hot, sticky yucky, the smell of weed was even stronger, and the weird 'come hither' eyes from the Rasta Farians became more frequent. I think Rookie and I were the only ones that were bothered by all this..The rest looked like they were already having a blast.

A few unknowns, started off the show.. Rookie and I made our way all the way to the front, damn near touching the stage. I quickly regretted this .. A) for a second I thought I looked like a groupie..certainly not the case.. I just didn't want to be trampled in the back; and b) its not a healthy thing to be that close considering the amount of sweat that would be dripping off the performers dred locks( you could lose an eye ya know!). I managed to lose Nadia and Fi-Fi, but Grimey proved to be much harder to get rid of. With every man that walked on the stage she had to ask...."Yo..is dat man da buju juju guy"...... NO....."Dats Garaaymii Yo". This got to become a bit repetitive and just plain old annoying. Finally Buju came on stage, and he rocked the show. Wicked show I tell you. The crowd was into yet, Shiloh band were great..I love live music. It was an all together awesome show. At times I was a bit in fear of my life, the reckless use of of lighters and blow horns were getting a tad dangerous. Nonetheless, I had a blast ...Thanx Rookie.

Leave it to Nadia to ruin the night though. That girl honestly makes me wonder. At the end of the concert, the dj began promoting the next show. Bounty Killer -- September 30th. I'm not a big fan of Bounty Killer so I wouldn't go, plus his show was during Ramadan so there was no way in hell id even make plans to attend. We met up at a friends restaurant after the venue. Told everyone that didn't go about the concert. Nadia began telling that since they were bummed about missing this one, they could make it up by joining her when she goes to the Bounty Killer concert on the 30th. Because I thought maybe she forgot that Ramadan was coming up.. I thought it would be wise to remind her that that venue was going to be thrown during Ramadan---" Nadia, ya know Ramadan starts next week right....the venue's during Ramadan". Walaahi what she said shocked me...and made me question myself.
"Oh well, the concert doesn't start until later that night, after we break our fast....we'll go then..be back home in time for morning prayers". The entire room went quiet.

Do I sound this ignorant too? I dunno, good time for some serious self reflection though.

I Innicent of accusings of the Kazakhstan government

2006-09-12T12:24:00.001-06:00

IStarted going back to the gym again. I comfirmed my cousin is infact getting married this November. I want to wear a yellow number, so i need to lose alot of pounds before i can do so...don't want to end up looking like a school bus. I called my mommy last night. Nearly cried, I miss my mommy like crazy..she's not only the coolest mother around, she's also my best friend. Doesn't look like mommy is ready to come home yet she's stuck in Xamar, willingly. I really hope she comes back soon, I can't wait for these overgrown brats to leave!

Ive finally begun editing on a few different projects I've been working, mostly footage from my trips. I've got a lot of footage that i'm not quite sure what i want to do with. But I think its appropriate time to start editting alot.....time to lock myself in the basement again. I'm completely in love with Borat. That man is freaking hilarious. A friend of mine went out to the Toronto Film Festival and got a glimpse of this man. Thats it today I'm gonna totally put on the Borat accent.

Haloooow MA I MAQLI Kartaa????//

2006-09-07T12:48:00.000-06:00

Reading: The World Is Flat, written by Thomas L. Friedman. I'm surprisingly disappointed with this book, not enjoying it as much as the last novel of his that I read Longitudes and Attitudes. Although we did share alot of the view points, and questions concerning outsourcing and globalization, I believe some of his approaches to a few things were a bit iffy. He was right though the world is becoming flat..sort of like an even playing field for everyone.......everyone except the continent of Africa which seems to be continuously excluded from excelling economically like the rest of the world. I dunno maybe I didn't give it an honest effort, I'm sick of reading it but i'm going to finish it...trying to teach my self to have a sense of persistance.

I've been outsmarted by my qaad fiend uncle!! (Thanx to a certain someone for encouraging me to share this). As Somalis we all receive those constant calls from Africa in the wee hours of the morning, or in the dead of night quite often. See in many other cultures family members call to wish each other happy birthdays, or to just simply say 'hi'.....oh no...not us.... our family members call to ask for money, whether we know them personally or not. There usually isn't the casual and curtious exchange of greetings like usual phone calls... our people get straight to the damn point: "Meesha xawilaada baan joogaa $200 ii soo dir"--"im at the money transfer office send me $200". If you're anything like me, you'd further inquire.. like 'yaa tahay'? ='who are you'.... 'yaa ku dhalay' ...etc. They've already got those answers handy.. going through names of all these dead grand fathers, till we finally find one in common some where down the long list.

There's one person in particular who has taken advantage of my generousity. My uncle (i still don't understand how) Maxamud Xirsi<---(yes thats his real name). Maxamud aint your average reer hustler..he's got smarts. See he doesn't call you during the wee hours of the morning instead he calls you during prime time television blocks around 8pm when the new episodes of House is on. When he does call he hits with convincing sobb stories that even the most cold hearted among us would fall for. For example, the first time he scammed me (yes he got me good) he claimed that my grandmother had broke her arm and that he needed money to get it fixed (like its a leaky pipe or something)
" Ayeeyo faduma mire baa gacan ka jabtay lacag ha la soo diro"
Fair enough.. I mean who the hell am i to leave an old woman with a broken arm hanging like that?.....no pun intended. I asked him when would be a good time for me to send him the money, and to my surprised he told me he was already at Dahab Shiil (money transfer place). I felt really bad then, so i rushed down to send him the money as soon as i could. Later on that evening my mother called...ya know we had our daily discussions.. I told her about Maxamud Xirsi and the very shocking news that her beloved Ayeeyo Faduma Mire had broken her arm. To my disbelief my mom replied " Which ayeeyo faduma Mire there are two??" what the shizzle for nizzle.. TWO? Thats when i got confused.. horta who is this faduma woman, i thought.. and how the hell is she related to me...and when the hell did she multiply. Apparently she's my ayeeyo because she's the sister of my late grandmother (Allahu Raxma) but my granny had two sisters named Faduma, neither of which my mother had any knowledge of. So he got over on me, he knew i never knew him, or both fadumas.
After that incident I refused to answer his calls.. I knew it was him, calls from Somalia usually pop up as private or have a weird devilish ring to it.
He almost got me on a second occasion. This time he called and told me that Awoowe Xirsi Mire (his father) had broken his hip and they need some money for that. Bal yaa Ilaahay Yaqaano...do all my grandmothers siblings do gymnastics or something, or is there a trampoline in their backyard that they keep falling off of. I was too smart for him this time. I said .. "Abti... Kheyr Allahu ku siiyo.. dadkaan wayeel ka ah aad beenta ka sheegaysid oo aad dhibaatada u saadineeysid maa ka dhaaftid. Tan labaad lacaagtaan aan ku soo diraayo cid arkeeyso ma leh.. saa u socotid qaad iyo wax daran baa ku gadaneeysaa ee dhibka iga daa" basically said: leave these old people alone, and quit jinxing them to break their bones. Secondly, you won't do anything with the money except buy qaad, so leave me the hell alone (feel free to correct my translation). I hung up on him... that was that. But Maxamud Xirsi doesn't give up easy. He needs money to feed his qaad addiction. He calls back the next day..."Haaloow..ma i maqli kartaaa.. waa anigiii.. waa awoowgaa Xirsi mire.. awoowe sinta baan ka jabay..lacag si dag dag ah ha la ii soo diro" this is your grandfather Xirsi Mire..I broke my hip and I need money fast. I asked where he was at, and he replied that he was at Dahab Shiil........ what the errrrrrrmmmm....??? the elderly man, with the broken hip, out and about hustling money at Dahab Shiil....??? All this didn't make sense and only one person could be behind it.

Ofcourse it didn't it was Maxamud Xirsi disguising his voice!

Sniff Test Anyone?

2006-09-06T13:11:00.000-06:00

There 2 things that really bother, and I won't stand for in this world:

Outsourcing to India: Why? Although the world is heading to a future of mass globalization and leveling the playing field for all nations to benefit from it, there's one aspect of globalization that I will not and can not accept..and that's outsourcing certain companies to India. Not because I'm racist or anti-India or something..Come on ..Me anti-India no way I love their tandori chicken; but because I am sick and tired of calling my credit card company and getting John Smith in India with a thick Indian accent. A while back I was watching one of my favourite programs ..Just don't remember which it was...60mins I think; well any who they were doing a story on American companies that outsource to India. On this program they visited huge training centers where young Indian engineers, computer scientist and a whole bunch of other Indian geniuses trained to be customer service reps for American companies. Along with the normal training that happens at any telemarketing or customer service centers, these young folks were getting speech training to lose their Indian accents and to speak with American accents. I'd hate to laugh but it was quiet funny to watch them. Anywho, on top of that they were each given white Anglican names...From Amit Patel to John Smith. Contrary to the $8-$12/h (or sometimes more) given to Americans here, these poor blokes were only being paid about $2/hr.....Hence why these companies are shipping off to India. For a second I forgot where I was going with all of this...........Oh yes they just freaking piss me off when I call. I want someone who makes flicking sense! What's the point of helping someone and providing the best customer care if the customer can not understand what the hell you're saying? Argghh! Just the thought of it now pisses me off.
Stinky People: Why must people smell? I mean really.... Why must people smell?I absolutely positively detest stinky people. There's no freaking excuse for being smelly, none at all. Especially not in this day in age. I mean come on folks some people need to get acquainted with Mr. Soap and Mrs. Water...They're a beautiful couple I tell ya, absolutely gorgeous. I'm not a big people person, in fact, I'm a bit anti-social; so I haven't really been around a lot of smelly people....Except the random fart that walks by you in the mall.....But there is one person that I have come across that has by far made up for all the stinky people of the world I haven't met....... My co-worker...We'll call her YODA for now. Yoda freaking smells. I mean she smells like she ran a marathon with garlic, ass and onions tied around her neck. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I'm pretty sure that she could help this odour by simply taking a shower and putting on some deodorant. Good personal hygiene is a good quality to have (especially as a female)...Jeez why wouldn't it be?... Even more so when you work in an office environment. She's a cool cat, funny and entertaining, a bit weird..but nonetheless I enjoy her meaningless conversation.....but she freaking reeks!!!!!! I've given her bad BO's alert levels...sorta like the terror alert level:

Green: Alert level moderate: slight musky smell. Nothing too serious, compared to the odour released by a wet dog. Advisory: The elderly and children under 12 should take caution
Yellow: Alert level elevated: This is an intermediate day, on this day she reeks of BO and onions. Stink is released even more which is exhibited by her heavy breathing and constant sweating.
Orange: Alert level reaching the max! On this day all should be aware and take precautions to avoid all sort of close contact situations with her.
Red: Stink alert on the highest level...Stop drop roll, run, kick or jump do anything and everything to avoid Yoda for her BO can be fatal

Vegetarian..Who? ...MOI?

2006-09-05T10:41:00.000-06:00

So for a while now I've been thinking about this whole being a vegetarian thing. Don't get me wrong I mean I love my meat and all, but I believe that is because my complete infactuation with cows, goats, chickens, and lambs that I'm getting as big as the Goodyear blimp lately; so my freakishly weird co-worker suggested I try this blood type diet. Simply what they do is go by your blood type to determine what diet will work for you. I drew lucky vegetarian as the ideal diet for me. I dunno I was all for it for a bit, getting ready to go out to Whole Foods and pick up a bunch of organic veggies and stuff and pay double what I usually pay for regular old pesticide filled veggies, until my co-worker walked up to me eating some sort of disgusting fake meat concoction.

Whadaphuk is veggie turkey. Holy crap that stuff almost made tofu sound appetizing. I don't want to go on insulting it and all, cause it is food none the less. But how could something look worse than it sounds. Why not just eat veggies, why imitate meat by using veggies. My co-worker went on to say that had I not known it was veggie turkey, that I would more than likely ate, enjoyed it, and would have asked for more..........Yeah the hell right, I could smell that imitation 'thing' from a mile away and would have known it wasn't meat. I'm completely thrown off the whole concept of vegetarianism....thanx a lot Bridget.

Jeez am I dreading this whole going to Virginia trip. Why the hell did I agree to go? I have this overwhelming sense that I'm gonna do something stupid that will haunt FOREVER<--(cue the dramatic music). I'm a really humble person, (as if you couldn't already tell) but really I am. I hate the spotlight and everything that comes with it. I'm more of a blender, sort of the one who has a slight presence in ever group but never stands out. Not because a lack alot of things, but because I'd rather prefer things that way. .....why am i babbling? I got about 30mins left in this dreadful work day so just about anything amuses me right now.

I'm too sexy for S-land

2006-09-04T12:58:00.000-06:00

I'm the most amazing person in the world, and to top it off.....I'm humble. How can you beat that? I'm very selective with my friends and I love them immensely. I'm a polyglot: that means I can say words all over the world. My favourite animals are monkeys and dolphins.....although I have owned neither, I did watch flipper quite alot. Who is John Galt? I think brushing your shoulders off is a cruel trick formulated to keep white people down. If I meet one more obsequious insipid vapid shaveling in a bar I'm giving up hope. If you didn't understand that sentence, please alert the Vatican of my arrival. If you drink beer you'd better be pledging and the only time to say the word neat is when you're ordering scotch. I don't write poetry and I use to paint.....why I shared that?..beats me . I love seeing people fall down. People always talk to me in public bathrooms. I hate public bathrooms. What if the Hoky-Poky, is in fact, what it is all about?...think about it.

Don't say it, dude I already know. Its one of those days. I'm a walking talking screwed up oxy moron! Why? I'm working on labour day, how exactly that works i don't quite understand myself. So yeah, seems like its been a while since i've updated this thing. Since then no real big changes I guess. My older brother is officially married, and he's so incredibly happy. Its funny to me in a way, I would never imagine Egal would be married, living in Somalia, owning his own house, and finally settled. Only Allah knows where each of our lives will eventually end up. Mom's still in Somalia too, and I'd wish she'd hurry back. I'm sick and tired of taking care of her grown ass children.

I've been conned into doing a fashion show for a Somaliland convention: Somaliland Policy & Reconstruction Institute (SOPRI). SOPRI is basically a hub house for the soul purpose of increasing awarness to the international community about Somalilands right for statehood. What does fashion have to do with all this? I'll be damned if I know. A good friend of mine's cousin who happens to be involved with SOPRI came in for Virgina and begged us to take part in the cultural aspect of the weekend long confrence. I agreed. My boyfriend kinda pushed me too, he's even flying down to Virgina to watch my sensational performance, that or see me fall off the stage. Either way, I'm at the point of not caring anymore. Surprise surprise, Milga at a Somaliland confrence...lool funny i know LAUGH. Yeah I think its about time I embrace that side of my family, not because I've have a overwhelming feeling of desire to grasp on to my roots and my dad's 'people'; but because the shove the whole Somaliland concept down your throat......CANT BEAT THEM JOIN THEM, AND THEN MODEL FOR THEM IN A SHOW. BTW why do they want my corny ass to be in a show for them, do they not know I'm pigeon toed? I'll be sure to take plenty of pics, and video of this whole deal.

2006-08-17T08:54:00.000-06:00

Its been a while since i've updated this darn thing, but its been pretty busy around here. Since the last time i wrote my older brother got married and moved to Mogadishu, Somalia. My mom went with him, she hasn't been there for over 20yrs, so i bet its a culture shock for the both of them. Oddly enough he's beyond happy, for the first time he's' over excited about the entire trip, the fact that he's married, the fact that he's away from moder western luxuries. Theres this subltle simplitsic bliss to every word that he says. I'm happy for him, I'm glad to see my brother like this, I guess people really do change. Hopefully I can too one day. Anywho, my boyfriend came down to visit me from Minnesota ( yes he's my boyfriend now). It was pretty cool, I had my 2 sisters and my brother staying with me so he got a chance to meet them all. We went out, hung out, did the usual, talked laughed. Nothing all too exciting, it was just pleasant to have him around. He's wonderful company and makes me happy. I hope I don't screw this one up too. Oddly enough I don't have for the first time, that drilling urge to sabatoge this relationship, as I did with my few previous ones. I just want this one to sorta play out and watch where it goes. The coolest part is he thinks I'm cool, GOSH DARN IT. I'm making plans to see him soon

Other than that I've just been taking care of work, the house, and my mothers grown ass kids. These little mo'fos are so damn lazy. @ 21, 19 and 13, you'd think these little parasites would know a thing or two about putting a new roll of toilette tissue in, when the other finishes. I guess i've over estimated the rodents. I'll probably won't update this thing again for about a month or so. Simply because i find more important things to do with my uneventfull days, such as make a collage of my own pathetic pictures :d.

Minnie Ha -Ha Ha

2006-07-05T15:01:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm back and what can I say, I don't regret a moment, a second, a nano second of my trip. Well worth everything i went through to actually go. I'm so glad i fought with my concious about going. I went to Minnesota and I loved it. I had fun with my new special friend.
I honestly never thought this would happen to me. I thought i'd go out there, see him one night and then ignore him for the rest of my visit. But it was quite the contrary. I was addicted to him, his smell, his smile, his eyes; his laugh, his snoring -- everything; yes he snores! He's a wonderful guy, even more wonderful to be around him than to merely talk to him on the phone. He's really hot, did I mention that, I mean I underestimated him, he's a hunk! We spent every moment that we could together, we talked, laughed made out...looool.

He shared so many things with me in the few days that I was there. He showed me pictures of his family, and I did the same. It was one of those things i guess you only see in the movies. Realistically i know we have to work really hard on this, but it seems like both of us are willing to put all the work we can into this relationship to make it work out in the long run. He's making a trip out here this summer, hopefully we can interact a lot more then. Till then its back to the phone i guess for the both of us.

Eureka!

2006-06-19T17:38:00.000-06:00

I figured it out, I mean I finally know what I'm going to be when I grow up. I mean yes I do have a job, and yes I did get that silly paper of acknowledgment; but I never exactly knew what it was I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Growing up it was my dream to become a world news correspondant. Travel the world to bring stories of real life survival and struggle. Infact I wrote my frist article when i was about 12 years old. I wrote a counter article to TIME MAGAZINE, in response to an article they did after the death of Mohamed Farah Aided. I felt they were a bit unfair and bias towards him especially after his death. I feel alot of people had to share the blame of what happend and what was going on in Somalia at the time. Instead they used his death as a platform to play the blame game and to point fingers at 1 of the many warlords of the country.

Though I'm still very much interested in becoming a journalist, i want to become more of a human rights advocate. Advocate for AIDS treatments, world poverty and crimes against humanity. I find that I am extrememly passionate when it comes to these issues, and will forth my best and most honest efforts on making sure I implement certain changes or atleast do my best to do so. It also offers me the chance of a lifetime to travel the world, witness new cultures, interact with people i thought i would never have the chance to interact with. Oddly enough there's a slight excitement in me as i type all of this right now. I dunno i love helping people, I love experiences new cultures, i love to travel, i think this would be a career that would truly make me happy and complete. If this is what i want to do, i should start soon, because i eventually want to start a family and settle down. I mean i aint no Angelina Jolie, i just can't shack up with Brad Pitt and pop babies out in Namibia and all. Though i think that lady lives one hell of a life. Realistically you can't raise a family and travel the world and save everyone in it. So long as i can share photos,video and stories of all that with my children one day, Insha'Allah, I'm happy!

Okay, i have less than a week to start getting ready to go out of town, and i haven't bought a thing yet. My parents want me to help out with the "Get Egal Married" fund. Dude I'm broke!. So i got to figure something out, even if that means dipping in the savings, or comprimising on how much it is i want to spend when i go out there. Though i doubt i'll be spending all that much at all when i do eventually get down there. One thing I love about my extended family, they don't like you to spend a dime of your own money. Instead they'll spoil your grown ass on whatever it is you want. I think for the first time, I'm going to take advantage of their generousity. Oh Yeah ..Milga a gold digger.

Somalis, can't live with them, can't live without em'

2006-06-18T13:53:00.000-06:00

Ya know my uncle use to always say, "Somaali axsaan looma falo"(Never do favours for Somalis) and you know what he was right! Today was a beautiful day, i mean the sun was shining, the weather was great, I had a good hair day, and it was LATINO FEST 2006. I got up relatively early this morning, had to be up to watch the soccer games. First match Iran vs Croatia, pretty uneventful game, except for the 2 Croatian goals, but what really made the game was the dumb German jews who stood outside in protest against the Iranian national team playing. Now here's my question for the money hungry bastards who spent their saturday fighting for a cause that didn't exist.... what the fuck did the national team have to do with President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad comments??? If any team should be protested against for crimes against humanity by their leader it should the sorry excuse of a team called the US. It was a pathetic attempt at getting the team kicked off the team, they looked so freaking sorry. What happend during the holocaust was horrible. But similar autrocities are going on in the world today, if anything fight for the rights of those people instead of wasiting valuable paper and paint world cup fans could have used on their bodies and billboards with your stupid attemtps at getting your views across.

Back to the ungrateful Somalis. Today a 'friend' of mine, (and i use the term loosely) called so we could hang out. I told her that my vehical was being looked at and i didn't have it with me. She called another friend of mine and told the both of us to get ready she'll be there in a half hour. My friend got ready but i didn't, i know how Somalis are , i guess she's yet to find out. This was at 6:00pm, she didn't call back until 10:30pm asking why were weren't at the freaking lounge. Look bitch how the fuck were we suppose to get there and why the fuck are you calling us 4hrs after the fact. Yet when you want us to pick your rideless ass up you call every freaking milisecond making sure we were on our freaking way. Piss off lady.

And that is a lesson in not doing Somalis favours

2006-06-15T18:47:00.000-06:00

What an uneventful day today was, recovering from my root canal, eating nothing but mash potatoes and soggy cereal. Finally told mom I'm going to MN at the end of the month. Didn't think she would care, but boy did the old lady have a cow. The whole, "what exactly is your purpose for going, is you appearance there going to break or make the wedding"?. I guess she's saying all this because she's sorta beefing with my aunty, but they're sisters, they're gonna have to get over it ...Right? I'm actually looking forward to going. I'm going to see a lot of family I haven't seen in a while, especially my favourite uncle in the whole wide world!!!, well I only have 2, but you catch my drift. He's coming down finally and it'll be great to spend sometime with him. I also get to see one of my favourite cousins, who was involved in horrible car accident a year ago, its a blessing to be able to see him alive and well. Most importantly I'm going to see the queen of my heart, in the same token her name means queen. I'm going to see my baby Haifa, who's turning 2 this year.

Haifa is the daughter of my cousin who was shot and killed 3 years ago by a heartless sorry excuse of a human, for no apparent reason. Her mom was 6 months pregnant with her when her father was killed. She means the world to me, because he meant the world to me. Its a comforting feeling knowing he left something on this earth, who shares his same smile, same casual demeanor and who can pray upon her father's soul for mercy. I have a love for her I can't explain, but its true and strong. If only I could love everyone like I love that little angel. I'm getting a bit sentimental, but with due reason. She truly is an angel.

A few days ago I wasn't sure about going to meet a guy I met out on a whim. He got my number from a family member called me and we've been cool ever since. I have a real good feeling about him. It helps that he shows that he really cares about , and I feel like its truly sincere. For once in my life I'm going to give this one a honest try and put my all into it. I know it may be a bit too early to say this now, but I just have a feeling that I can't ignore about him. So why not, what's the worst that could happen, rejection and a broken heart? Oh well been there done that got the post card and moved on.

Root Canal Arrrrggghhhh!!!!!!

2006-06-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

I knew this day would come sooner or later, and due to my genetically pre-defined stubbornness, it came to this. For the longest time I've been suffering from unbearable tooth pain, that I've been self treating with ambesol and tylenol. Well finally the ambesol and tylenol gave out. It started last night after work, silly me decided to get a subway sandwich which required tough, strong and concentrated chewing. It has been hell ever since then, nothing worse than a tooth ache I swear, well maybe a ear ache comes close....But either way the shit hurt. Called my dentist that morning, made and emergency appointment. By the time I got there perhaps my situation was too serious for her tiny hands to handle, so she sent me up to Worthington, Oh to see an oral surgeon to help me. So now I had to drive 30mins out of town to a tiny little hick town, in the sweltering heat, in a leather seated car, the sun beating down on me, and my entire head throbbing with pain. When I got there, I had to go through to routine of filling out insurance forms, and basically promising the bastards that I'll pay for a job I'm not sure they can fix.

Did I mention I hate dental offices, those places are so fucking freaky. The sound of drills going, and knowing someone's going to be all in your face and you can't do diddly squat about. Anywho, Dr. Doolittle, or whatever the hell is name was found it fun to poke around and cause me more pain than I could ever imagine. After several seconds of tears and pleading he finally gave way to the DRUGS....Yuppie, novacaine.!!!! That eased a lot of the pain, took me to la-la land, I plugged in my ipod and let him do what he gets paid thousands to do. A FREAKING ROOT CANAL. Eventually all was well, I felt better my face and lips were swollen but oh well that's just war wounds from the battle I faced against my evil tooth and its evil nerve endings!
here's the best part though, silly me made that 45min drive back to work to finish out the day.

World Cup Time

2006-06-13T14:53:00.000-06:00

So far this month has been going by pretty well. Its world cup time, so thats always exciting, except the fact that I have to work in an environment with no television, so i can't watch the games. 5 African teams competing this year, 4 of them so far have been incredibly disappointing. I can't help but to put my faith in my african brothers, and yet they disppoint. The first dissapointment was with the Ivory Coast. Everyone subconciously was wishing that they could somehow muster up a win against the difficult Argentina. Unfortunately they could not. Its noble of them to have made it from a country with endless civil war. Because the national team made it to the world cup, the Ivory Coast called for a ceasefire to the civil war thats been going on. Atleast they accomplished that much.

Making plans to go out of town again. This time I'm going to mosquito infested state of 10, 000 lakes, or in plain old english--Minnesota. Going up there for my cousins wedding, plus I just want to get away from everything for a while, detach myself from whats been going on at home, and with the family. My favourite uncle is coming down from switzerland, so it'll be fun to see him, and hang out with my MANY cousins. Going up there to see the new love interest in my life. Coincidently enough the wedding is happening in the city he lives in, so I have no choice but to go and see him. In a way i'm sort of scared of hanging out with this guy. I already have strong feelings for him, good and bad. He's a nice guy very opinonated and self-driven. But sometimes i feel like he just preaches for no apparent reason. Or that he comes down super hard on my views or my past. He tries to push the fact that he's open minded and all, but then again he seems to be lecturing alot about the people I use to associate with ..key word.. USE to. Oh i don't know, perhaps this is my attempt of sabotaging something thats good for me yet again. Nonetheless I'm open and willing to find out what this new adventure will bring to my life.

2006-04-09T06:50:00.000-06:00

Excuse the way the page looks. Thats what happends when you have no idea what the hell you're doing. Wanted to change the video on my page, I dunno about y'all but i was kinda sick of I-Wayne telling why "one man can't satisfy her". Instead, i wanted to feature the M-1 video featuring my buddy K'naan. I for one am proud of him, K'naan that is...coming from the same place I did, to actually making it in this difficult music field; deserves a whole bunch of kudos

Its way too early to do anything. Sunday moring 10 minutes before 9:00am, and I'm up....yes I know its obvious that i'm up.....i'm writing aren't I? But where was I going with this......oh yeah...me up early...and the reason why..... Well i knew i had to come into work this morning, usually the night before mornings like this i have this odd ritual of standing up the whole night and going to work the very next day, looking and feeling like yesterday. Last night was an odd night...my new buddy Audry and I went to the shi sha bar with my amish co-worker her husbamd, and their over grown 15 and 14yrs old boys. Lol it was quite the evening!

My thoughts are so scattered, listening to some french hip-hop, I am so in love with Disiz la Peste he is my new obsession. French hip hop has so much more to offer than american hip hop i think. American hip hop has become so commercialized, they've all become pop culture whores, ready to endorse and sign on to anything. I seen Slum Village on a car commercial? Where's the substance in the music anymore, do these morons even know what they're rapping about anymore. Seen a song on the t.v the other day called "getting some head" wtf?????.....erm dude you wrote a song about getting some head, and people actually paid you to do so? I dunno its all out of hand if you ask me, the rump shaking, bling, whatever the hell they're calling that shit now adays. Paris Hilton has an hip hop influenced album, i mean that should be a wrap for american hip hop right there!!!

Forgive Me

2006-04-07T15:52:00.000-06:00

Yeah, yeah yeah... I know I've deserted you again. I mean i'm sorry, and it doesn't help that i've been through a few url's since last time I posted. But i've been going through a serious writers block lately. Could it be the fact that i've been out of school for so long, and everything that i learned has escaped my mind?

Whatever the case may be, I'm back.....well atleast for now I am. Been doing some serious travelling, and been planning for some more serious planning. I'm going back to school too....yeah in September, but hey I think i need to. School's been a part of my life for so long that i just can't see myself without it.

Still single but hey I'm not complaining. Kinda like the fact that i dont have to consult with someone about the things I do and the places i go. I'd rather skip the whole dating thing and just get married. Plus i wanna leave the country, live in nice house near a beach somewhere in Africa. I'm sick of this place and all the sin and discomforts that comes with it. I'm ready to go back to my homeland, and just live.... Thats write i'm on that BACK TO AFRICA tip, except I've never been there before. Alot of people think i'm on this tip simply because i wanna try something new, and doubt the fact that i can't survive there. But i'm a simple person, with simple wishes and wants. I just want to be happy, without the hussle bussle, lies and struggles of western life. They disguise the shit that we go through on a daily basis, with the material luxuries that comes with living in this place. We've all become materialistic zombies, roaming around in the world of the living dead. We struggle 5days out of the week to make ends meet, and feed our fiending desires for the finer things in life. On the weekend we got out, party have a good time, only to find out we got to go through this disillusional routine again the following week.

Oops did i get on that real talk tip? Excuse moi (damn i don't know how to put the accent on the e). Anywho, we need that sometimes, real talk that is. Life is so much more deep than what many of us see it as. Its a huge game of chess, and though i'm not the best chess player, its all about the moves you make on this board (the world). One must have priorities in life, and walaahi its like alot of my people don't. Don't think many of them think about going back. This aint my home, I know that, so why get comfortable. At the same time, my home isn't much of a home due to the greedyness of many who claim to be doing good for us. Its like everyone gave up on the horn of Africa. Not me though. I've got hope, Insha'Allah I won't be the only one who feels this way.

I have abandoned thee

2005-12-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

Oh my precious blog, and readers I have abandoned thee and set a sail to new adventures. Well not really. I've just been real busy with real life and everything else that comes along with it. The moving is all done but its been bull crap ever since. I had to fight with the management company at my place to get my rent for November pro-rated. After I did that I had to fight with them to compensate me for the damages that I incurred to my personal property. Its just been an up hill battle with those people. But all is well, and I don't have to pay a red cent for the month of December....More shopping...YUPPIE.

Updates:

New additions in my life. My new Samsung Digimax Digital camera: I had way too much fun with it....I took all sorts of pictures and set it up on my laptop and made fun slideshows. I need a life, a boyfriend..A cat.... Something. Yeah its been a blast, took tons of pics of my father and mother-they're some characters!. My dad was sort of pissed about all the attention I was giving him. One pic and this man thinks he's a celebrity. Mom on the other hand was super duper having a blast with it. Posing while making my father some jabati.

Losses in my life: My laptop. Its done with. Its gone that's the end of it. Good thing I got the new one. My its an Apple..It wasn't suppose to die on me. How could it. Oh well I had good times with that old thing.
My Chia PET: she's done for. Don't know why the hell I was growing it in the first place.

Exciting news: My antagonistic gay co-worker was fired. You know, there's this Somali proverb that explains this situation well, but stupid old me forgot it. Anyway, his buddy, Lesly my other co-worker turned against him, and litteraly tattled taled to the boss. Bringing him up to date to the Mao like dictatorship Nick was running around the office. Today we were updated to a few threats that he's made against all of us and the company in general. I'm cool about walking to our cars in pairs. But this rule about going to the bathroom in pairs should be flushed down the toilet. One thing I liked about Nick though, was the fact that he made the office so pretty. Rare plants and flowers bloomed around the entire office. Now its' just barren!

Well that's pretty much whets been going on. And I promise faithfull readers (or better a lack there of) I shall never neglect you again. Never!

2005-11-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

Man on Man its been a while. Seems like i've gotton lazy, about everything pretty much. Even my birthday was a total bore. Does that mean I'm getting old? I dunno whatever it is, I need to snap out of it.

Moving, Moving and more moving. Seems like thats pretty much what I've been up to all month. Just been moving. Never will I sign another lease again. These people honestly jerked me around for a 2wks straight. All is well now, and I'm settling into the new place.

Weird momments, do they only happen to me, or do many people experience the same weirdness that takes place in my life. I have so many to share, but here's one i posted earlier in one of the sites that i visit.

It seems that oddness seems to follow me wherever i go. Whether its seeing two midgets getting into a cat fight, or having a homeless man chase me down the street, it seems as though th weirdest things happen to me. Perhaps i'm not the only one, but i'm sure these things happen to me more than anyother person I know. Let me explain Once I was on the bus, on my way home from school. It was quite a long bus ride back to my house, so i pretty much memorized who would get on from what stops. On this occasion the bus stopped at one of the stops on the route..and on hops a huge jamaican woman, she couldn't have been shorter than 6'7 she was about 230lbs of pure muscle, less then 3% body fat, and those were just the two mosquito bites she called a rack. She had Rupanzal like weave, something Beyonce would wear, but this looked like she had it on her head for too long, thinking it was really hers. I'm sure she showered in it and all. It looked like a hornets nest on her head. Anyway.....that wasn't what really got me about her appearance. Mind you this is the dead of a Canadian winter, and this woman had a long red, glittery evening dress on, with two huge slits up the sides of her legs. She had s pair of stripper heals on and torn stockings.....lets just say she looked a hot a$$ mess. I was amazed by her outfit, and wasn't the only one looking but for some odd reason her eyes made contact with mine.

***this is when all hell broke loose****

I tried to quickly turn away but it was too late...she noticed that i noticed, and she put me on notice that was about to get a noticebly black eye in the coming minutes. I tried to play stupid and look out the window or something...to check out the west side of Toronto's sceneary but that didn't work, as I noticed her coming closer. Walaahi despite the loud sounds coming from the bus and the deafening humming of conversation from the other passengers, i could honestly hear this woman breathing. She sounded like a steam engine train, as she got closer and closer....i seen her shadow hover over me, and felt her hot breath through my winter hat..i tried not to look up...but i knew whatever was above me wasn't prettier now that she was closer.
her: "what ya look at" she asked me in her jamaican accent
me:"nothing, nothing at all lady"
her: " i seen ya starin' ya little pitney gyal" ( pitney,is child in their odd language)
me:"lady i have cataract, i wasn't even looking at you" As i said this......i flipped my hair at her, trying to act hard..and turned away. This made her furious...
her:"ya stupid likkle somalian g'yal...Ya tink ya look nice?"
me:"what what the hell are you talking about"
her:"ya, me know you somalians, y'alll tink y'all look nice"
me:"lady, you're getting out of hand..now back off you smell like onion and a$$" By this time she was really pissed.
her:"stand up, me say stand up...come test me nah"
me:"test you, what the fukc do you mean test you"
her:"contest, me and you who look better"
me:"lady i'm not getting in a contest with you, obviously you won, wearing that 1930 Ms Kingston's Rejects contest"

I was praying my stop was close, because after that comment, no way was she going let me speak again. Luckily though, the bus driver stopped the bus and asked her to settle down, or else she'd have to get off the bus. The chicken said all this 10ft away from her. She kept staring at me....and i kept playing her off as if she didn't exist. But from that day on..i vowed never to look at people on the bus.

2005-10-14T07:43:00.000-06:00

QUOTES BY POLITICIANS AND MEDIA AFTER SEPTEMBER 11

Commentators and Public Figures

Franklin Graham, son of evangelist Billy Graham, said during an NBC Evening News newcast watched by millions of Americans: “The God of Islam is not the same God. He’s not the son of God of the Christian or Judeo-Christian Faith. It’s a different God, and I believe it is a very evil and wicked religion.”

Televangelist Pat Robertson said the following about Muslims on his television program: “They want to coexist until they can control, dominate, and then, if need be, destroy.”

Political commentators have repeatedly pointed fingers at Muslims in America. William S. Lind, with the Free Congress Foundation, said: “There is no such thing as a peaceful Islam... Islamics [sic] cannot fit into an America in which the first loyalty if to the American Constitution. They should be encouraged to leave. They are a fifth column in this country.”

Syndicated columnist Ann Coulter said America “should invade their [Muslim] countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.” Coulter also called for the “mass deportation of Muslims.”

The Middle East Forum’s Daniel Pipes went so far as to suggest that 10 to 15 percent of the world’s Muslims, including those in the U.S., were potential killers. He recommended “vigilant application of social and political pressure to ensure that Islam is not accorded special status of any kind on this country.”

(Source: The Status of Muslim Civil Rights in the United States 2002, Stereotypes and Civil Liberties, CAIR Council on American-Islamic Relation Research Center)

Government Officials

“Kirsanow raised the possibility of internment, for camps for the mass detention of Arab Americans, at a Commission hearing in Detroit on July 19. He did not condemn this idea, but raised it as a serious and reasonable possibility in the event of future terrorist attacks against the United States. He also stated that if the perpetrators of any such attack ‘come from the same ethnic group that attacked the World Trade Center, you can forget about civil rights,’ and that ‘not too many people will be crying in their beer if there are more detentions, more stops, more profiling; there will be a groundswell of public opinion to banish civil rights.’”- Reference made to remarks by Commissioner Peter Kirsanow of the United States Commission on Human Rights at a Commission hearing in Detroit, Michigan on July 19, 2002.(Source: American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee press release, issued in Washington, D.C. on July 26, 2002, www.adc.org)

“The face of terror is not the true faith of Islam. That’s not what Islam is about. Islam is peace... America counts millions of Muslims amongst our citizens, and Muslims make an incredibly valuable contribution to our country....And they need to be treated with respect. In our anger and emotion, our fellow Americans must treat each other with respect....Those who feel like they can intimidate our fellow citizens to take out their anger don’t represent the best of America, they represent the worst of humankind, and they should be ashamed of that kind of behavior.”— Remarks by President George Bush at the Islamic Center of Washington, D.C.(Source: White House press release, 9/17/01)

“If I see someone [who] comes in that’s got a diaper on his head and a fan belt wrapped around the diaper on his head, that guy needs to be pulled over,” said Congressman Cooksey, a Republican member from Louisiana who sits on the International Relations Subcommittee for the Middle East and South Asia.(Source: www.theadvocate.com)

Newspapers

NEW YORK TIMESJune 5, 2002“Finger Printing”

WASHINGTON, June 5 - Calling for a new “vital line of defense” against terrorists, Attorney General John Ashcroft proposed Justice Department regulations today that would require 100,000 foreign students, tourists, researchers and other visitors to register with the federal government.

Mr. Ashcroft said any foreigner who might pose “a national security concern” would be covered by the rules, which would take effect this fall after a public comment period.

Other government officials said men 18 to 35 years of age from about 20 largely Muslim and Middle Eastern nations, including important allies like Saudi Arabia and Egypt, would make up the bulk of those who would be fingerprinted, photographed and required to fill out a long form. The regulations would not affect those with green cards.(Source: www.nytimes.com)

The Rev. Jerry Vines, pastor of First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, FL, told SBC [Southern Baptist Convention] conventioneers that the Prophet Muhammed was a “demon-possessed pedophile.” (Vines is a former SBC president). Vines added that, “Allah is not Jehovah either. Jehovah’s not going to turn you into a terrorist that’ll try to bomb people and take the lives of thousands and thousands of people.” When asked by reporters to condemn those bigoted remarks, both the outgoing and incoming SBC presidents said they supported Vines and his statements. The comments were made at an annual gathering of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) in St. Louis, MO.(Source: www.sbcannualmeeting.org/sbc02/)

“Hamilton College Muslim America Poll: Accounts of Anti-Muslim
Discrimination Not Exaggerated”

WASHINGTON, May 30 / U.S. Newswire / — Nearly 75 percent of Muslim Americans either know someone who has or have themselves experienced an act of anti-Muslim discrimination, harassment, verbal abuse or physical attack since September 11, according to a national survey released May 30 at the National Press Club. The Muslim America Poll by Hamilton College and Zogby International, shows that almost two out of three Muslims believe that the FBI questioning and arrests of Muslims in the U.S. after Sept. 11 are unwarranted abuses of civil liberties. The poll of 517 Muslims living in America was developed by Hamilton College and administered by Zogby International.

Poll respondents report being told “you are demons,” “Pig religion,” “you guys did it” and actions of “he spit in my face,” “he pulled off my daughter’s hijab” — the list of taunts and abuses goes on. “It is clear from this poll that reports in recent months on anti-Muslim discrimination, harassment or attacks have not been exaggerated,” said Hamilton Professor of Sociology Dennis Gilbert, whose class designed the poll.(Source: Hamilton College Muslim America Poll U.S. Newswire, 29 May 2002 15:22)

Village VoiceJuly 31-August 6, 2002“Rounding Up the “Enemy”: Sixty Years After It Jailed Japanese Americans, Would The U.S. Consider Another Ethnic Internment?”by Chisun Lee

“...Only one publicly released poll has asked directly. Conducted by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press over the weekend immediately following September 11, it might provide a reasonable measure of gut reaction in case of future attacks,” says research director Michael Dimock.

“Twelve hundred adults nationwide were asked, “Would you favor or oppose the following measures to curb terrorism... Allowing the U.S. government to take legal immigrants from unfriendly countries to internment camps during times of tension or crisis.” Twenty-nine percent of respondents were in favor, and 57 percent were not. Says Dimock, “A clear majority were opposed. But I know people who looked at that number and went, ‘Oh my god, nearly three in 10 people are in favor of this?’” Moreover, he says, “a higher proportion said, ‘don’t know,’ or refused to answer this than the other questions. There may be some people in their heart of hearts who support the idea and don’t say so over the phone. I’m sure that it did happen.”(Source: http://www.itvs.org/facetoface/activities/www.villagevoice.com)

Its been a real busy week so far

2005-10-12T09:35:00.000-06:00

Busy. Busy, busy. Mansha'Allah I've been caught up with so many things lately, I start to write, but then I'm interrupted by something else. Alhamdulilah today's a bit of slower day, so I'll have the opportunity to do some writing.

First off, thanks to those who actually read what I have to say, this amazes me profoundly. 500 some odd views, incredible. I mean if you honestly knew how corny I was for real, you'd be surprised too. Thanks again folks I truly do appreciate it.

I've gone to a few forums and did a bit of reading. There was one forum topic I tried to stay away from, it was entitled "Yes, I am pro jihad are you". Initially I thought this forum would touch upon the clear definition of what the word jihad means, and when we as Muslims should declare a jihad. Over the past several years not only has this word been used too lightly by the West and ignorant media brainwashed westerners, but also by Muslims alike. Now after reading this topic forum, I myself questioned myself about my position. Am I pro jihad or not? In this day in age, what constitutes jihad? Abu Bakr(May Allah(swt) be pleased with him) led two jihads because one woman's scarf was pulled off her head. Muslims world wide face day to day discrimination and persecution, and have been condemned by the media. Does this not constitute a jihad? The desecration of the Quran (As seen here) at Guantanemo bay, the slaughtering of Bosnian women and children by Serbs, the atrocities seen in Palestine, Albania and around the world, aren't these not justifications?

The point of my entry is not to give you my answer, but just to give you something to think about for a while.

On the other hand I question myself on my position on "Islamic terrorist", is there such a thing? How can there be when Islam is a religion built on peace and patience. This image I believe is acoy conjured by the west to defimate Islam all together. In recent years it was brought to the west's attention that Islam was the fastest growing faith in the west, and around the world. One third of the worlds entire population was Muslim, and this figure was growing fast. How could they possibly stop this trend? To entirely deface Islam, through their trusty media. That's one thing they hold so dear to them.

The media must refuse to promote material maligning a race, religion, ethnicity or nationality in the name of freedom of expression.Recently, a local newspaper featured a political cartoon which used Islamic symbols to satirize an Imam condoning the London terror bombings. Another cartoonist depicted a Hispanic coming to America solely with the intention of benefiting from our welfare system.Such humor does not always bring laughter. In both cases, the respective communities responded with strong indignation and protest. When the media paint a community with a broad brush, knowingly or unknowingly, for the evils of a few, the entire community then feels compelled to respond.American media attracts global attention when our leaders speak out on issues through our newspapers, magazines, on radio talk shows, through the Internet and on TV. And the world understands that it is not a very sensible expression of facts to call the IRA "Catholic terrorists" or the abortion clinic bomber a "Baptist terrorist."But, it should equally be common sense not to name suicide bombers, whether in London, Israel or in New York, Islamic terrorists -- these terrorists do not and must not be allowed to represent 1.3 billion faithful. Furthermore, Islamic leadership should not have to issue religious edicts denouncing such acts when an average Muslim has nothing to do with it.Should we ask the pope to apologize for the IRA or have local Catholic communities come forward with statements denouncing IRA bombings in London? Do we constantly harass American fundamentalist Christian leadership to be sorry for the acts of Timothy McVeigh, David Koresh and Eric Rudolph?An Israeli Jew recently attacked and killed four innocent Arabs in a bus. Should we then expect the Board of Rabbis to issue an apology in the name of Judaism and the Jewish populations? Should we have named this killer a Jewish terrorist? Religious killers come in every denomination, but unless they are Muslim, we routinely brush off such incidents as acts of a few crazies. Why then does it become mandatory for Islamic leaders to issue "fatwas" -- religious edicts -- confirming terrorism is not compatible with Islam?It is wrong to back the Muslims in a corner and force them to plead not guilty for a crime neither they nor their faith is responsible for.

Ofcourse it is! This only takes me back to the initial question posted up in the forum. Am I pro Jihad? Does all these facts lead me to decide? I'll leave you with these and an article I recently read. And you make your choice. a well written article by a sister

''I asked Allah's Apostle, 'O Allah's Apostle! What is the best deed?' He replied, 'To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.' I asked, 'What is next in goodness?' He replied, 'To be good and dutiful to your parents.' I further asked, 'What is next in goodness?' He replied, 'To participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause.' I did not ask Allah's Apostle anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more. '' As narrated by Abdullah Bin Masud

"there will come a time when non Muslims will gather around and consume from the analogy of Muslims as if they were hungry men, this is because of you (Muslims) will fear death and love the world"

2005-10-12T09:33:00.000-06:00

Name:
Aafia Siddiqui
Nationality:
Pakistani
Residence:
US
Marital Status:
Married
Date of Arrest:
20/03/2003
Location of Arrest:
Karachi, Pakistan
Click here for related articles Search for relevant articles
Aafia SiddiquiBackground:

Aafia Siddiqui was born in Karachi, Pakistan, on March 2, 1972. She was one of three children of Mohammad Siddiqui, a doctor trained in England, and Ismet. She is a mother of three.
Aafia moved to Texas in 1990 to be near her brother, and after spending a year at the University of Houston, transferred to MIT. Aafia then married Mohammed Amjad Khan, a medical student, and subsequently entered Brandeis University as a graduate student in cognitive neuroscience.

Citing the difficulty of living as Muslims in the United States after 9/11, Aafia and her husband returned to Pakistan. They stayed in Pakistan for a short time, and then returned to the United States. They remained there until 2002, and then moved back to Pakistan.
Some problems developed in their marriage, and Aafia was eight months pregnant with their third child when she and Khan were estranged. She and the children stayed at her mother's house, while Khan lived elsewhere in Karachi.

After giving birth to her son, Aafia stayed at her mother's house for the rest of the year, returning to the US without her children around December 2002 to look for a job in the Baltimore area, where her sister had begun working at Sinai Hospital.
Soon after Pakistani authorities arrested Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Aafia and her children disappeared. A report in the Pakistani Urdu press said that Aafiai and her kids had been seen being picked up by Pakistani authorities and taken into custody.
According to Mrs. Siddiqui, Aafia left her mother's house in Gulshan-e-Iqbal in a Metro-cab on March 30, to catch a flight for Rawalpindi, but never reached the airport. Inside sources claim that Afia had been "picked-up" by intelligence agencies while on her way to the airport and initial reports suggest she was handed over to the FBI.

Aafia Siddiqui had been missing for more than a year when the FBI put her photographs on its website. The press was told that she was an Al Qaeda facilitator. After an FBI conference, a newspaper broke the story linking the woman involved in the 2001 diamond trade in Liberia to Aafia. The family's attorney, Elaine Whitfield Sharp, says the allegation was a blessing in disguise because it places Siddiqui somewhere at a specific time. She says she can prove Siddiqui was in Boston that week.

In Pakistan, there has been no official report registered with the police regarding her disappearance, and the police are doing nothing to trace her. Mrs. Siddiqui alleges that an intelligence agency official came to her house a week after the incident, and warned her not to make an issue out of her daughter's disappearance and threatened her with dire consequences.
Both the Pakistan government as well as US officials in Washington denied any knowledge of Aafia's custody.

Aafia and her three young children remain missing.

2005-10-09T11:13:00.000-06:00

Women's liberation through Islam

Islam was the most revolutionary liberalization of women's rights the civilized world has ever seen.

Unlike feminism movements, women's liberation in Islam wasn't started by women but was revealed by Allah to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) in the seventh century. The Qur'an and the Hadith or Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) are the sources from which every Muslim woman derives her rights, responsibilities and duties.

Men and women are equaled in front of Allah; this is in terms of worshiping, obeying, and glorifying Him. Nevertheless they're equally punished when committing any sin. For instance when committing adultery, the man and the woman share the same punishment.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord who created you from a single soul and from it its mate and from them both have spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty toward Allah in whom you claim (your rights) of one another, and towards the wombs (that bore you)! Allah has been a Watcher over you." Qur'an (4:1)

Since men and women both came from the same essence, they are equal regarding their human rights. Women cannot be considered evil by nature (as some people may think) or then men would be evil also. Similarly, neither gender can be superior because it would be a contradiction of equality.

Islam also granted women many civil rights; a Muslim woman has the basic freedom of choice and expression based on recognition of her individual personality. First, she is free to choose her religion. The Qur'an states:

"There is no compulsion in religion. Right has been made distinct from error."Qur'an (2:256)

In Islam, women's role is balanced but fair. She has been removed from the burden of supporting herself. Instead men take this responsibility, a woman's father and or brother and even the government, if the other two are not available a responsible to take care of the woman and support her financially. If she does not want to work, she does not have to. She has the freedom to decide to stay at home and spend her time raising her children and tending to her family, social and religious life. However, if she wants to work, she is not forbidden to do so. Actually Islam has encouraged the woman to educate herself and to know Allah and know her duties, so that she can educate her children. She is discouraged from leaving her children without guidance and example. Moreover she is given the most honorable and important job in the universe, she is more encouraged to be a mother.

Muslim women have the right to choose their husbands and keep their names after marriage. Islam also encourages women to contribute their opinions and ideas; there are many examples of women who offered their opinions concerning religion, economics and social matters to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). Also, a Muslim woman’s testimony is valid in legal disputes.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

"Seeking knowledge is a mandate for every Muslim" (male and female).

This includes learning the Qur'an and the Hadith as well gaining knowledge in science and many other fields. Since both men and women have the capacity for learning and understanding, Muslim women must acquire the appropriate education in order to promote good behavior and condemn bad behavior in all spheres of life.

While maintenance of a home, supporting husbands, breading and teaching children are regarded as the priorities for a woman, if she has the skills to work outside her house for the good of the family, then she may do so as long as she doesn't ignore her main family duties.

Moreover Islam gives high respect to motherhood, Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

"Heaven lies under the feet of mothers".

This implies that the success of a society is traced to good mothers. Therefore, a woman must be educated and conscientious in order to be a skillful parent.

Fourteen hundred years ago, Islam started giving women the right to vote .On any public matter; Muslim women may vote their opinion and participate in politics. This established the right of women to select their leader and publicly declare so.

For example, Abdurrahman Ibn Auf consulted many women before he recommended Othman Ibn Affan to be the Caliph. While guardianship and greater financial responsibility is given to men in Islam, a Muslim woman has the privilege to earn money, the right to own property, to enter into legal contracts and to manage all of her assets in any way she pleases. She can run her own business and no one has any claim on her earnings including her husband.

Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

"And in no wise covet those things in which Allah hath bestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on others; to men is allotted what they earn, and to women, what they earn; but ask Allah of His bounty, for Allah hath full knowledge of all things." Qur'an (4:32)

Islam liberated women by giving them rights and duties 1400 years ago that most women do not enjoy up till now, even in the West. These duties and rights were given by Allah and are designed to keep balance in society; what may seem unjust or missing in one place is compensated for or explained in another place because Islam as is a complete way of life.

Allah says:

"And it not of a believing man or a women, when Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad) have declared a matter, for them to have any choice in that matter. And anyone who disobeys God and His Messenger has indeed gone astray into open error." Qur'an (33:36)

2005-10-06T07:29:00.000-06:00

So....how was everyones' first day? Insha'Allah I hope you all greeted this holy month with a humble approach. Thoughn I'm not fasting as yet..due to reasons (being a girl has its pros and cons), I went ahead and minimized my food intake for today, got to get ready for when i start fasting. Walaahi I love this time of the year, my email accounts are usually flooded with junk about by male enhancement pills, and special offers, but during this time of the year, I get very enlightening forwards from my muslims friends around the world. Thank you all for the reading material, I need as much knowledge I can gain.

Was on one of my favourite sites again CagePrisoners.com, and as promised I will post another profile of one of the brothers, illegally held against his will.

Prisoners : US: Hammad Abdurraheem
Name:
Hammad Abdurraheem
Nationality:
US
Residence:
US
Marital Status:
Single
Location of Arrest:
Virginia, US
Click here for related articles Search for relevant articles
Hammad Abdurraheem
Hammad
Background:
Hammad Abdur-Raheem was born and raised in the Washington, DC area (PG County). He came from a hard working middle-class family who treated him with a lot of love and respect and his father King Lyon along with his mother and sister have stuck by him until this day.After high school Hammad joined the United Sates Army and he spent eight years in the army. During his tour of duty he participated in the first Gulf War and fought under the command of Gen. Tommy Franks. While stationed in Arizona Hammad reverted to the deen of Islam and from that day was a serious and dedicated Muslim. Returning back to the DC area, to Northern Virginia where the Muslim community is strongest, Hammad went to school for engineering and became an engineer for a major American telecommunication company (who in a cowardly fashion disowned him as soon as he was in trouble). Hammad married a sister from Morocco and had two children, a boy and a girl, and was always a brother who helped others when they were down and donated much of his time and resources to the Muslim community. In his spare time he studied the Indonesian language (which he is still doing from behind bars), practiced the Muslim martial-art of Silat and studied the deen. Along with a group of brothers Hammad would gather for recreational paintball on the weekends, a very common activity in America, in order to stay in good physical condition and to have fun. Because of this activity, and the fact that the brothers were Muslim and a few of them had strong pro-Muslim political leanings, they fell victim to a federal witch hunt that claimed the brothers were training for jihad and supporting Laskar al-Taiba in Kashmir ( of the 11 brothers three had been to Kashmir but none of them actually fought). When he was indicted for this charge Hammad asked the brothers “what is Laskar al-Taiba!” He had never heard of the group he was purportedly supporting. Unlike some of the other brothers Hammad stood strong during the ordeal and never pled guilty to things he wasn’t guilty of due to government pressure and was sentenced to nine years in prison and will not be released until 2010. At this time Hammad is in good spirits from behind bars and spends his time praying, reading, playing basketball and working in the prison library.
Hammad, who was a leader in the paintball training but never travelled to Pakistan, was sentenced to eight years.

The three convicted will receive a new sentencing hearing on 29 July 2005.
Related
Help Hammad and His Family
Write to him:Hammad AbdurraheemReg. No. 46814-083Petersburg Med. FCIP.O. Box 90043Petersburg, VA 23804

2005-10-04T16:04:00.000-06:00

This website came to my attention recently and I have been hooked ever since. Thanks so much to the sister who brought it to my attention. The website is called CagePriosners.com, i've provided the link on my side bar. This website is dedicated to the many brothers and sisters who have been inhumanly detained for years now. This site provides articles of the mistreatment that goes on in these prisions, shows that these men and women are illigitametly being held against their will, the violations against their most simple human rights. The articles are really a good read they are very enlightning and only help make ones iman stronger. During this month, lets keep our brothers and sisters in Islam that have been falsely imprisoned, in our ducas and minds.

Every day, I'll post up the profile of one of the detainees with every entry that I make.
Enjoy the first day of Ramadhan!

Prisoners : US: Ali Al Timimi

Name:	Ali Al Timimi
Nationality:	US
Residence:	US
Marital Status:	Married
Date of Arrest:	20/09/2024
Location of Arrest:	Virginia, US
Click here for related articles Search for relevant articles

Ali Al Timimi

Background:
Dr. Ali Al Timimi is an American of Iraqi heritage. He was born in 1963 and raised in the Washington DC area. He received his doctorate in computational biology on the topic of "Chaos and Complexity in Cancer” and holds undergraduate degrees in both Biology and Computer Science.

Al-Timimi also studied religious studies at the Islamic University of Medina where he benefited from the great Islamic scholars of Medina. Due to his passion for reading and research, he progressed quickly in his studies and became one of the few Muslim experts in the US in the field of Islamic Theology and Philosophy.

For over 15 years, al-Timimi has delivered hundreds of Islamic lectures and workshops locally and around the world. His CDs, tapes, and books are sold and freely distributed over the Internet to thousands of people.

The FBI raided Al-Timimi’s house in March of 2003. The government mentioned him in the Paintball indictment as co-conspirator number one. As a result of the media attention, Al-Timimi lost his job and was not able to find another job. After a long waiting period, the government indicted him in September 2004, almost one and half years after they raided his house.

In an 11-count indictment, part of a government case in which 11 men were charged in 2003 as part of a "Virginia jihad network”, prosecutors portray Al-Timimi, 40, as the person who induced or motivated young men from the local area to join the Taliban. Such motivation constitutes 'material support' under the current 'anti-terror' laws.

Ramadan Kariim

2005-10-04T15:49:00.000-06:00

Ramadan Kariim you all. Wishing you all a month of Rahma, 4 weeks of Barakah 30 days of Forgiveness, 720 hours of Purification and 43200 minutes of Guidance.

Seeing that it is Ramadan, and in observance of this holy month, I will be posting on things that enlighten us about our miraculous faith. This way we can all gain something from each other, the power of knowledge. Islamic knowledge is something that I lack, and Insha'Allah starting this month, I will strive to gain as much knowlege as I can. Your comments and questions are welcomed, seeing that I have many comments to make, and questions to ask. Again Ramadan Kariim, and may Allah(SWT) guide us humbly through this holy month.

2005-10-02T10:54:00.000-06:00

Home Sweet Home. I don't really miss Toronto all that much, but I do miss Dixon. Not all six buildings, but one in particular, 390 apt # 2110 to be exact. Imagine living in the same place for 13yrs straight. Guess the only reason I'm busting my ass off at work everyday, is so that I can one day buy back our apartment, I'll never forgive me parents for selling it! NEVER!!!!

2005-10-01T22:09:00.000-06:00

I use to hate this guy, hate him with a passion, everytime he stepped within 5 feet of me I would cringe. I was 10 then, and with all other sibling rivalries we were just following proper conduct of a brother and sister who were less than a year apart in age. Now, he's my best friend. I love him more than anything in this world. We've gone through our ups and downs....A lot more downs than ups....But I never stopped loving my brother. At times I may have been pretty insensitive, but I guess I was just frustrated, hated seeing my mother cry about the things he did.

After really getting to know my brother, sitting down and having a one on one with him, I realized life was tough for him, although he's responsible for all the choices he's made in life. I look up to him for at least experiencing a lot more than the average person experiences, in such a short amount of time. He was able to admit his mistakes, learn from them and start fresh. Its unfortunate that if at the most I'll only get to see him maybe once a year. But he'll always hold a special place in my heart. He's my best friend, my brother and my heart. Love ya Big Bro!

2005-09-28T10:39:00.000-06:00

My Somali may not be top notch, I may be ignorant to a lot of customs and my understanding for our culture may not be all that great. I do not understand what they’re saying in Somali songs, proverbs or poems. Nor do I think that many of the remedies our mother’s and grandmothers tell us really work. But regardless of all of this, I consider myself a true Somali nationalist. I’ve never been to Somalia, never seen the beautiful beaches, walked on its earth or tasted its fruits. However, it’s a place I long for everyday of my life. I hate to admit it but sometimes I get jealous when I get around the rest of my family members and they talk about the good old days, in the old country, back home; I just sit there daydreaming and thinking what if I was there, how would Milga fit into this story. I see myself spending the days playing with my cousins, looking up to my uncles, proud that they are successful men in their own country. Going to a school where my name wasn’t foreign, (though Milga isn’t as common as Xalimo) having to deal with the teachers butchering my name. Celebrating the month of Ramadan, and Eid where they are observed as a national and religious holidays, instead of unexcused absences. I spent many a days daydreaming about this. And yet the reality is this day will never come, well at least for me it won’t. I’m getting older and politics in Somalia is taking a step back with ever year I age. Boy do I make myself sound old.

Now I may not be as well informed about the issues of politics in Somalia. But I do know that an honest and humble effort is not being exercised. Any available warlord in Somalia is running for an office and many for the presidency chair these days, or so it seems at least. A new breed of non-nationalists, unpatriotic, uneducated, mostly criminals, who committed crimes against their own people, are running for the highest office in government, presidency. They are fighting over on how many seats each one gets for his tribe, or clan.

When I think about it, which is very often, I usually picture a horrifying scene where a group of hungry, gargoyled humans attacking a weak but attractive and beautiful lady, the nation, and each one is grapping and pulling as many pieces of bones and flesh, internal organs and all, head or tail, while others are charging to have the whole torso (presidency) for themselves, for their clan, of course. Nowhere in that long shopping list that each warlord has could you see or read anything to do with rebuilding a nation, a Somali Nation. Each one thinks it is someone else's responsibility, the rest of the world, for that matter, to deal with the question of rebuilding the nation.

Maybe I’m missing the point. Perhaps the key to being a TRUE Somali is to be completely captivated by the notion that qabil and tribalism means everything. Well in that case I guess I’m not the big time nationalist I thought I was. Forgive me for not basing my views as to the future of Somalia around qabil. Maybe I should do what you do and instead of coming up with my own views on how Somalia should be run, I should just side with my cousin, uncle or member of my clan.

What good does that do? What choices have you made as an individual to decide who will bring this anarchic country back on its feet, after 15yrs of chaos?

Its time for us to start looking out for the only victim in all of this madness…Somalia, it’s time for us to give our children the chances I never had growing up. The chance to witness, beautiful landscapes, a vibrant culture, a place where the scenery is painted with the many colors of the dirac. I want to give that to my children, all that I never had. Damn that sounds like a serious speech ….Not what I was intending at all. But was I was trying to say is. Lets bring educated candidates, ones with merit and love for the country. Where’s the spirit of SYL (Somali Youth League), who had such love for the country. It is on our generation to make the difference, and rebuke the efforts of war mongering men, with blood on their hands.

2005-09-25T18:23:00.000-06:00

Hold your applauds folks.....Gosh I didn't accomplish shit this weekend but go to work. Ed gave me a good laugh though Saturday morning. Lol..gosh I wish I took a picture of his pants. But I couldn't possibly keep a straight face for at least 10 secs. I've been suffering from constant bubble guts ever since the night of the Salisbury steaks. Pray for me, this is not comfortable. Signed myself up for a hydro spinning class, sounds odd I know; its like a cycling class in the water. That should be fun, lets see how long my fat ass hangs around.

2005-09-24T13:11:00.000-06:00

Perhaps I've been writing way too much. Like my life is really that exciting. Its not. If life were things you could pick and flick, mine would be a big ass booger.

When I was 16

2005-09-23T21:15:00.000-06:00

I skipped a lot of school
I started an online journal on dork.com
El Nino hit
I wore hoodies everyday
Most people called me sumo
I listened to a lot of mix tapes
Thought I was in love
Monica went down on Bill
I was extremely obese
My aspirations was to be a tattoo artist
Mr. Tamonski got fired for macking a student
My friends and I spent most of our weekends stalking and prank calling this really hot 30yrs old
I had bigger breasts than I do now

2005-09-22T22:36:00.000-06:00

Call me a loser I don’t care, I have done absolutely nothing this morning. I feel like shit, damn those Salisbury steaks are still having their way with me. That’s it think I’m gonna go vegetarian for now on, because beef stabbed me in the back, or in this case, it stabbed me in the stomach. On the upside, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow either, yeaaah…my first Friday off in a long ass time, feels great, except I honestly love my job.

Gonna grab some cereal folks. Be right back……

Oh yeah back to me being a loser. I have done absolutely nothing today again. I guess the only constructive thing I’ve done all day was call around to get the best wireless service for my laptop. No one seems to be giving me a good deal. Today I called Verizon after seeing a commercial on television about their broad band service. Boy do these people know how to make money. Now on the commercial it said broadband service for $59.99, sounds good eh?<---(I’m so Canadian) I thought hey that’s a good deal, since verizon provides me with my cell phone service, perhaps I’ll get some sort of discount with their broadband service. I called and talked to a nice lady who was even nicer to inform me that they were about to rip me off. So my search continues….wish me luck folks.

LOOL…just got off of the phone with my friend Travis now that dude is hilarious. You see I’ve got my very own hookah at the house, so ever since he got introduced to it, he’s been randomly calling me up asking about the hookah and if he can come over and smoke some fruit weed. Now we all know that hookah or shisha is nothing more that dried fruit and tobacco. I hardly ever smoke it, just gives me something to do from time to time. But Travis insists that its fruit weed and that he gets a buzz from it after every hit. Loool! Here’s how our last conversation went:

**ring ring**ß that’s the phone folks

Me: Hello

Trav: Whad up Milga….

Me: what’s going on PS?

** Side note, my best friend and I call Trav PS because we came to the conclusion that

Trav doesn’t get any pussy, so he occupies his time sniffing panties, hence PS for Panty Sniffer, anyway back to the story**

Trav: Nothing, I’m about to come over there get some of that FRUIT WEED

Me: Trav for the last time, the shit aint fruit weed, its dried fruits you douche bag

Trav: well whatever the fuck that shit it, I’m coming over to get some, I got this bad bitch coming over tonight I need to get loose

Me: Trav you know damn well you aint got no body coming over there, quit lying

Trav: I do, anyway you about to be at the house, I’m about to come through in a bit.

Mind you Travis lives literally down the street from me so when he says in a bit, he’s more than likely already on his way.

Me: Sure just bring back my DVD you son of a gun, it’s been like 4wks

Trav: Whatever just make sure that fruit weed is blazing by the time I get there.

Lol, this dude definitely made my day. But 10bucks says that he’s really coming over to do his laundry again, just like a nigger! Just kidding I love my PS to death. It’s quite easy to tell by now that most of my friends are all men. There’s a reason for that, I think woman talk to damn much. Don’t get me wrong I have a few very good female friends but I can only talk and hang out with them in doses. Too much estrogen is not always a good thing, trust me. Testosterone rocks, unless you’re sleeping with them. Then it just sucks ass…too many demands. LOL just kidding boy do I talk a lot of shit. Not gonna eat shit tonight, simply because I’ve got way too much fiber down the highway with all that raisin bran. Instead I’m going to watch Martin Lawrence “You So Crazy” for the 49^th time, call the love of my life and listen to some Alpha Blondie! My life sucks, but hey its’ my life for better or worse.

2005-09-21T23:41:00.000-06:00

Stupid! Stupid me. The stupid things that I do, I can’t believe I left an entire flash disk that contains what I call my God file in the middle of a busy café, that’s what I get for flirting with the 52yrs old oriental man who owns the shop. Gosh I can be such a slut at times. SBC fucking sucks, I hate customer service representatives that have no clue what they’re talking about. This dude kept telling me the same thing over and over again, except every time he gave me a new price. What a fucking idiot. I’ve given up on that plan, I’m going to keep calling till I find the person that I feel comfortable with and can accurately give me the information that I need, because these fools are just pissing me off.

I was talking about earlier today, the little scouting I do for cool and unique friends. This one person I met, is a complete nut, this dude is….well to say funny would be an understatement, lets just say he’s unlike anyone or anything I’ve met before. He’s amazing hopefully he enjoys my wit too.

So back to my friend in Houston, this clown still refuses to leave. I honestly think he just wants to be the fool on the television channels that tells everyone what happened. ABC, FOX, NBC, CNN, he’ll be on each and every channel repeating word for word what he experienced. I love him to death though, so let us all pray that he’ll be okay despite his stupidity. Just a sec folks, there’s a midget sized spider roaming around my house. Raid is a damn lie and the makers know it! This damn spider has been running shit for the last two days I’m starting to believe that this mofo moved in, and if that’s the case I need to start seeing some rent money. What’s so exciting about 106 & Park? Beats me! Any who, I’m completely craved out…does that even make sense? What I mean to say is I don’t have a craving for anything, but yet being that fat tub of lard that I am, I’m super duper hungry. I need some fiber down the highway, so…what I’ll do is eat me a huge bowl of Raisin Bran. That’s right folks Raisin Bran is still on the market… I can’t think tonight, think I’m just gonna call the love of my life and make sure he’s okay. Notice I keep calling him the love of my life. If only he knew. Oh well….shit happens life goes on. No bubble guts for me tonight!

2005-09-21T10:29:00.000-06:00

Call me the ultimate lame, I don't give a flying fuck, but I have this weird thing where I look for funny people. Not just haha funny, but ridiculous, complex, weird, sarcastic, out of the box people. Very few of these types of people exist, especially within the Somali community<---(i hate this term).

Anywho, I've been scouting, and I've found a few (think like Milga) folks...I love them, they keep my day full with odd stories of the insanely funny things they come across.....God bless you all!

2005-09-20T22:41:00.000-06:00

Another meaningless day! I need to honestly find myself, for who I am and what I am does not make me happy. Because of this feeling it is harder for me to actually find peace of mind in everything and anything that I do. Okay, that’s just a sneak peak folks, that’s all you’re getting out of me as far as the inner mushy feeling stuff goes.

Salisbury steaks suck big time, puke! A friend of mine invited me over for dinner tonight; I went seeing that ever since she got this new boyfriend of hers we haven’t been on the best of terms. Why do females get involved with a man and base their entire life around this person? Hold on people the love of my life just called!!! (20mins later) Aaah I feel better now. What an idiot he is though. See he lives in Houston, where a hurricane is heading towards. This clown said he wants to stick it out because he wants to experience the effects of a hurricane. I’d hate to sound racist but this is something that white people would do or say. Guess I’ll have to wait and watch him on the roof of his house, hoping to be rescued by the National Guard. What a clown.

My thoughts are so scattered tonight, aren’t they always? I’m listening to theme song of “Intervention.” For those of you who have never watch the show, it’s a real life series that takes a look into the lives of addicts. Now these addictions vary from crack, meth, alcohol, and gambling. I even watched an episode where one guy was addicted to video games, and a chick was addicted eating. I love the show because it got rid of some stereotypes I had against drug and alcohol addicts. It takes an in depth journey into the lives and day by day tribulations of these people suffering from these diseases, because addiction is a disease. It gave me a closer understanding to what my brother was going through, as far as his addiction to alcohol. I’m getting kind of teary eyed just thinking about that time in my life where I was the angry sister dealing with a confused and dysfunctional brother battling the demons of alcohol. Alhamdulilah those days are in the past, and we’re closer than ever now. See what I mean about my thoughts being scattered! Sometimes I get a bit carried away. Oh well, keep reading…… Well anyway, back to what I was initially talking about, the song. It’s a good song, I love it. Oddly enough it’s written and sung by the Bare Naked Ladies. GO CANADA! Yup that’s right folks fellow Canadian and comedic artists the Bare Naked Ladies wrote this song. Well if you ever get the chance to listen to some older BNL stuff, this is an excellent song. Watch the show while you’re at it *****enter cheap plug here***---à watch Intervention, Sunday nights at 10:00pm on A&E.

Why do people call, talk to you for a bit, and tell you they’re gonna call you back, when they know damn well that they’re not planning on calling you back at all? Have they thought of someone better to call, or were you too boring for they’re liking? Whatever the reason may be isn’t it just easier or more honest to say, “Look I don’t want to talk to you right now, I have better things to do, sorry for wasting the last 10mins of your life on my meaningless jibber jabber. On that note, I’m going to watch “Waterboy” for the 100th time, listen to the Bare Naked Ladies, and call it a night. Gosh I hate salsbury steaks, this shit aint agreeing with my stomach!!!

Blogspot reemed me in the ass

2005-09-19T21:58:00.000-06:00

I have given into peer pressure. I have allowed the blogspot demon followers to poison my mind with promises of good blogging fun. I have sold my soul and given into the dark side and now I am forever obligated to keep up a blog, make it interesting and inappropriately vile and entertaining. . Oh, the things I'll do to entertain myself. I'm going to update this mofo alot. And I'm cool and funny and somewhat cute so I think everyone should be a good lad, lass or ladass (if you're a little of both) and link this goddamn blog and leave me comments all the time telling me how witty I am.

2005-09-18T21:55:00.000-06:00

Let me ask you this, why would any woman want to look like this?............ First of all, her ass is huge. That's not really a statement about her manish features it's just an observation. Look at those arms!!! That is sick! This is what I image Arnold Schwartzablahblahblah and his wife's kids would look like. Break me off some of that ass. I just want to take a bite out.

2005-09-18T21:36:00.000-06:00

Although I’ve decided what I want to be when I grow up, I’m not sure when I’d like to do the actual growing up part. I have a university degree, but I own more books “…for Dummies” than I would like to admit. I have a bordering-on-psychotic obsession about Paris, and what I feel is a healthy obsession for shoes. I like to sing really loudly in the car even though I know that I’m surrounded by glass and everyone else can see me act like an idiot. I dream to one day have a Cabana Boy named Juan.

Public urination: friend or foe?
Ok, the answer to that one is a no-brainer, but I just like using the phrase "friend or foe." I was walking down one of the less desirable side streets downtown today, and was met by my friend Public Urinator. Now PU doesn't know me, but he did shake an appendage of his body to say hello. In fact, before he did a little shakin' bakin', he stared me right in the face. Now if there's anything that makes a girl feel special, it's that.The best thing about the whole situation was, PU was so non-shallant about everything! Do a little look, do a little shake (in broad daylight none-the-less), and he's on his merry way. Now I'm not sure if the average PU enjoys the act, or just does it out of convenience. If it's the latter, I don't understand. There are 123,000 washrooms in the area in which he could go. Slip in a café, a department store, the Port-o-potty at the local construction site. Why go on the side of a wall on a street just off of a main thoroughfare? Oh and did I forget to mention that there was a group of 6 skateboarders across the street at the mini-park doing their thing? PU wasn't even by himself!Ok, that's my mini-rant for the day. Nothing like having a cold, listening to politicians and watch people pee on a wall to make your day. Yee ha! :)

2005-09-18T11:13:00.000-06:00

Call me a conspiracy theorist. But this stuff really does exist. From free masonary to Big brother and the Bohemian project. I believe all these conspiracies formed to control humans like lab subjects exists. For a while now I've been reading about RFID tracking and chip implants.

From embedded microchips to RFID tracking, the cashless society roll out is going on in full force.

With children thumbscanning to get their lunches and amusement park goers biometrically scanning for entry, we are being trained to use our biometric signatures as payment and identification.

Trendy clubs around the globe have begun to surgically implant their VIP customers with microchips that they can use to pay for their bar tabs, making it "cool" to "get chipped." Now these "hip" and "elite" customers won't have to bring their wallet out with them to have a good time.

Soon RFID tags will be in everything from pharmaceuticals to clothing. Exclusive clothiers are already using the tags to recognize customers as they walk in the door from what they are wearing.

This is a global system. Our passports will now be biometric, the information stored on an RFID chip. National id legislation has been passed with the same big brother technology onboard.

Ignorance is a bliss..........

The globalists are setting up the beast system so there is nowhere to hide. Cash itself will be traceable, so one day every transaction you make will be identifiable. You will be always be on camera and big brother will always know where you are and what you do.

2005-09-17T21:57:00.000-06:00

I've narrowed it down to these there men to spend the better have of middle age with. Lets play match maker.

Numero Uno: The Masai goat herder: I've always dreamed of marrying a goat herder, and living in a modest hut with 19 children with a ratio of 4 goats to every child. Marrying this man will ensure my dream.

Kim-Jong, what can I say about this man that hasn't been said about his father; he's fabulous. Every woman's dream man, especially mine. I don't mind that he doesn't have side burns, or the fact that he rocks that rug on his head. He's still one hell of a man. A dictator in every sense of the word. A man of few words, an iron fist and stern actions! Give me a call Kim!

VIVA FIDEL- why do they bother this man, leave him the hell alone. He know's what he's doing, at least he's up front with his shit! He's running the shit out of Cuba!

2005-09-17T17:21:00.000-06:00

Ahh..Yes ladies and gentlemen, that's him, that's the one, the only, the infamous Ed. The man who is single handedly responsible for the odd ocean smell that comes from the kitchen. The man of few words but many odours.

Be dazzled as he models the same outfit he's been wearing for the past three weeks. Be envious of his slicked to the side comb-over. And glare at his million dollar grin. Haha. My evil co-worker Gita and I (she so Rocks), got Ed to pose for us before he left the office today. Is it me or has this man been dressing in the dark for the past 3 weeks? I refuse to believe that someone would intentionally wear this specific outfit over and over again.

I shouldn't front though, Ed or THE MOLE as Gita likes to call him, somehow in a sick and twisted way makes my work day go a bit faster. God bless the man! His random babbling about insignificant bullshit, his excitement as he sits in his cubicle and watches the stock ticker go across the screen, over, and over, and over again; all are the more reason to be disgustingly intrigued by this rodent like creature. If you people only knew.

2005-09-17T11:38:00.000-06:00

You can't help but to hate to love this man. He's a character! A friggin' character.

Unfortunately I missed his speech on Thursday night but I was able to find it and read it in text. After reading it I'm sort of glad I didn't watch him deliver this speech. Is this George Bush? are these the words of G Dub as I like to call him. Its obvious he doesn't write his own speeches, but I'm surprised he actually agreed to this one. It was great speech considering it came from him. He took the blame fessed up to the mess of a response in New Orleans. President Bush promised the U.S. government will pay most of the costs of rebuilding the hurricane-ravaged Gulf Coast in one of the largest reconstruction projects the world has ever seen. "There is no way to imagine America without New Orleans, and this great city will rise again," G-dub said.

Standing Thursday night in Jackson Square in the heart of the French Quarter, Mr. Bush acknowledged his administration had failed to respond adequately to Hurricane Katrina, which killed hundreds of people across five states. It's about God damn time G-dub. Some may say too little to late. But I say better now than never. He did the right thing for once in his entire presidency, he acknowledged he fucked up!

2005-09-16T18:57:00.000-06:00

It's late, and yet again I'm at work. In fact I'm always at work. Today was a good day though. I got up went to work, did my usual gossip hour with my co-worker Nick, he rocks. Got into the momentum of things. Ed my Chinese co-worker yet again, wore the same pants for the third week in a row. I came to the conclusion that no one can honestly get up and put the same pair of pants on over and over again. He must just fall asleep in them. Speaking of Ed I'm going to shoot the little fucker in the head with a BB-Gun. He ate my food yet again. I actually caught him warming up my food in the kitchen. He's a sick human being!

Took a long lunch today so I can catch up on some good old shopping. I hate malls fuck them all. Fuck the stupid people who come to the same stand as you are, knowing damn well they're not interested in the item at all. They just want to look like they're actually doing something. Fuck the people who sing along with the music that plays in stores, you're shopping damn it, not clubbing. I hate 25and above retail clerks who bag make-up on their face and ask you how you're doing when they're ringing you up. I doubt they fucking care how I'm doing. Next time I'm just gonna give them a laundry list of problems, see what they say.

Fuck You

2005-09-16T16:30:00.000-06:00

Ahh time to vent. I got so much anger built up inside of me. So here's a GIANT FUCK YOU! To the following:

George Bush fuck you!- for just being you, I wonder how long it would have taken you to respond if a hurricane and hit Crawford?
Justin Zwick fuck you!- thanx a lot for blowing the game, there goes my Buckeye season
Outsourcing companies fuck you!- If I call my credit card company again, and some Indian picks up in New Delhi..I swear....oooh I swear I'm gonna.....(oh yeah I'm still being watched)
Amber the handicapped paralegal fuck you!- wait till I start messing with your disability cheques...oh you just wait
The little Chinese man that cut me off this morning and took my parking spot. Fuck you!
To the dick heads that charge $1 for bottled waters. Fuck you! wish I would have thought of that.
FUCK YOU- To all Somali warlords. Its your fault I'm stuck here paying back student loans. Give me somewhere to go and evade the student loan creditors

2005-09-16T10:18:00.000-06:00

I'll be real unorginal, seen this one around...but hey it'll do

Basics:

Name: Milga (wish my last name was something cool like, Hu, but its not)
MSN: Trippin' Towards Lucidity
Sex: Female..duuh!
Birthday: November 21st
Age: 20 somethin'
Star Sign: Scorpio
Place of Birth: China town
Current residence: Ghostown
Hair colour: black
Eye colour: brown
Height: 5'7 I think
Writing hand: Right

BODY ILLS + SKILLS

do you bite your nails: hell no, I hate ppl who do
Can you roll your tongue: nope don't have much of a tongue
Can your raise one eyebrow at a time: Yup...Just like the ROCK
Can you blow smoke rings: I swear I can...So cool!
Can you blow spit bubbles: yuck, no
Can you cross your eyes: no
Coloured hair: no
tattoos and where: none
piercing and where: not no more
Do you make your bed daily: I try
What goes on first socks or underwear: duuh underwear
Which shoe goes on first: I dunno I haven't paid attention
Speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone: yes, Sorry dad
How much money is usual in your wallet: I don't carry cash..Got mugged b4
What jewelry do you wear 24/7: A ring..Sentimental value
Would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great?: on time
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: neither I dig in like the Somali I am
How many cereals are in your cabinet: four
What utensils do you use eating pizza: My hands, I'm Somali
Do you cook: very rarely

GROOMING:

How often do you brush your teeth: two to three times a day
How often do you shower/bathe: 2wice a day
How long do these showers last: 20 mins max, unless I'm washing my hair
Hair drying method: air dry
Shave electric or razor: razor
Do you swear: all the time
Do you mumble to yourself: all the time
Do you spit in public: no
Do you pee in the shower: God no
what's in your CD player right now: Damian Marley
Person you talk most on the phone with: My mommy
Do use an alarm clock: yup
Name on thing or person you're obsessed with: Fidel Castro
What colour is your bedroom: white..I'm not going paint the shit
Have you ever skinny dipped: no, unless we count 1st grade
Ever sunbathed in the nude: no I'm blacker than black
Window or aisle seat: window
what's your sleeping position: fetal position
What kind of bed do you like: I can sleep damn near anywhere
In hot weather do you use a blanket: yes
Do you snore: no
Do you sleepwalk: all the time
D o you talk in your sleep: all the time
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: no
How about the light on: no
Do you fall sleep with the TV or radio on: yes I don't care

Crash

2005-09-15T09:36:00.000-06:00

I heard about t's movie a while ago. Actually, I was watching BET (I know I'm such a hypocrite), and saw Lorenz Tate, Don Cheadel and Cris "Ludacris" Bridges on, talking about the movie. After seeing that Ludacris was in the movie I vowed against watching it.

Last night I got super bored, and sick of television, so sick that I went out to my local Blockbuster to grab a movie. Nothing really interested me. Movies suck now a days, very few good movies made anymore. I noticed that the shelf under the 'Crash' poster was nearly empty with only a few DVD's remaining. I figured why not. I've probably seen worse movies and will probably see even worse movies in the future. So I picked and planned my night around that movie.

To my surprise it was actually good. Ludacris' acting sucked big time....PUKE. But everyone else was pretty good. For those who haven't seen it before here's a bit of an overview about it.

Crash is an in-your-face powerful movie, Crash speaks in a direct, uncensored way about the negative stereotypes, damaging assumptions and fears we have of other races. Characters in this movie (which features an amazing cast) brazenly say the things many of us may think, but in our PC environment of today, may never say.

A good film , certainly wasn't "City of God" but nonetheless a good film

Niggers

2005-09-13T08:52:00.000-06:00

Why do some black people act like niggers? Is it just me or do they just want to be niggers? When I use the word nigger I mean under the context of being ignorant.

I noticed this a lot, but it was one particular incident that really made me outraged.

I went to the Social Assitance office today to help with an interpretation. Well anyway, in the main lobby waiting to be called up was a Somali Bantu family, mom, dad, and the kids. Every one else in the lobby were either white, or African American.

The White social workers would come out, call out the name of their clients, politely greet them at the door, and escort them back to their offices. Well, when it came to the Bantu family they were not greeted in such a way. After about 30mins of them sitting there, a young slim black woman, wearing a crew cut hair style and all of Queen Sheeba's gold around her neck, comes walking out. She attempts to read their name .......Lets just say she completely butchers it. Since the family had a few young ones with them, it took them a few minutes to gather up their belongings...Miss Thing acted as though she had better things to do, visibly seeming aggravated by the family. They got up and walked towards her, with huge smiles on their faces, glad that they've finally made it to the back offices. Keisha, Tamika..Toshiba..Whatever the fuck her name was stood there, with a look of absolute disgust on her face. She didn't even have decency to hold the door out for them. Stupid woman! Too bad I had to leave before the left. I would have given her a dirty look.

Did I mention I hate confrontation

This is the Diary of Me

2005-09-13T08:17:00.000-06:00

my name is Milga
I hate it
Tell people its Batuulo
I've been to 4 continents in my life
3 were against my will
I've seen a dead body before
To this day it haunts me
I'm a sucker for sarcasm
I'm an idealist....
Becoming more of a realist
I'm really smart, could be a member of mensa
Really, I am
Never took the SAT's
would have scored a 1530 if I had
I do well on standardized tests
I'm shy especially around strangers
Self conscious about a lot
Except my intellect
I think I'm fucking brilliant
Fuck that! I know I'm fucking brilliant
Had a crush on a Korean boy
He was my bus driver
2nd grade folks...
I think Korean people are great
really I do
I think love is a distraction
I'm gonna marry a goat herder
He's gonna be successful at what he does
I'm gonna give the goats names
I think Somali people are great
Too bad we're killing each other off
I've lied about my nationality a few times
Told people I was a mut
They believed me
Want to be a documentary film maker
If that doesn't work out I'm moving to Cuba,
VIVA FIDEL!
I love that man
I love the f word
Its so fucking liberating
Big time clean freak
Hardly ever cook
My vocabulary is sick, too bad I can't remember shit
I'm a walking procrastination
I use to speak French
Forgot
Spent a weekend traveling through urban Chicago
Pissed my pants
St. Louis will be next
the trailer parks there to be exact
I love trailer parks
I don't live in one
I hate the word "hater"
Does that make me a hater
Who the fuck came up with the shit
I love to see Somalis succeed
I think Beyonce is fucking ugly
I'm not a hater I just do
I hate my grandmother
Envious of people who have nice grannies
My other granny just passed
She was a doll
Too bad I've only seen her once
Hate my aunts and uncles too, on my dad's side
See how qabiil does harm
Luckily my mom side is cool
Tight as hell with them
They just talk to damn much (love y'all)
I'll kill for my mama
She'd die for me
Don't have much friends
Nothing wrong with me, never got a chance to make many
Love music, love it, love it, love it
Been hit by a car once
Don't remember shit
Except I got jello at the hospital
My uncle is WAY too involved in Somali politics
He's my fucking hero
Hate the former dictator of Somalia,
he was a fucking warlord
I should leave him a lone, he's dead
Nah...............HE WAS A WARLORD
They're all warlords
Might grow up to be one my self...JUST Kidding
I use to be fat as hell, my brother use to call me SUMO
Lost a lot of weight.....Think I'm gaining it all back
I can be EXTRA at times
I hate fake people
Don't understand why ugly people are the most superficial
My ideal man is a militia man
My ideal woman is Anjelina Jolie........She's hot..Too bad I don't go for women
I hate easily
Love just as easily
I'm gullible at times
I believe in second chances
I cry myself to sleep at times....Don't know why
I'm sensitive
I fucking hate living in the west
I hate materialistic people
I HAD FUN WITH THIS

Medical School

2005-09-12T09:54:00.000-06:00

My new complete fascination with Cuba. Cuba as a whole has some of the best doctors in the world. They also send their doctors out to some of the poorest and neediest countries in the world. In fact in regards to the recent natural disaster in Gulf Coast of the United States, it was Cuba who was one of the first to lend out a helping hand, by offering to send Cuban doctors to the United States. America quickly refused help from Cuba.

I've recently come across a program that is offered to minorities in the United States. This program gives 100% total tuition to under privileged minorities wanting to study medicine. They have an excellent school and highly skilled professors. Would be something someone may be interested in. Not to mention the chance of picking up another language Spanish. Yep, there's even a in depth Spanish curriculum. Well worth it!

definitely something I'll have to check out for myself on my trip to Cuba

White Supremacy

2005-09-12T09:11:00.000-06:00

Ever just look at things in the view point of one who argues against your point, or against something you believe in? Perhaps at times they are right in what they say, or their opinions?

Think of this...White Supremacy

White Supremacy is a system of power relationships which favors European American in unjust ways. Colloquially put, white supremacy is a system in which everybody is equal, but white folks are more equal than others. A signficant way of challenging white supremacy is for African Americans to get good educations as part of an overall process of competing effectively for power politically, socially, culturally and economically. Thus Black folks who mess up when given the opportunity to atten college are supporting white supremacy because they are failing to get a good education.

Agree? Disagree? Just a thought look at it..think....

Bare with me

2005-09-11T14:17:00.000-06:00

Bare with me, I've lost alot of my older blogs due to my attempt at changing a couple of things! Always save your codes...always! Got a few back with the addition of a few others. Been busy with work lately, so Insha'Allah I'll have a chance to rant a lot more when I get the chance.

Castro vs Saddam

2005-09-10T17:59:00.000-06:00

Castro vs. Saddam

For my entire lifetime, Castro has been dictator of
Cuba.

Also, for the entire 46 years of Castro's control of
Cuba, the US has just sort of let it slide. There was
that minor Cuban Missle thing, where the US and the
Soviets almost vaporized the entire world, over Cuba.
And, the Bay of Pigs invasion fiasco. But, that was
over 40 years ago. Since then, the US has just decided
to put up with Cuba and Castro.

Ninety miles off the US Coast, Cuba remains a symbol
of the exact type of repression the US claims needs to
be fought around the globe, in the name of American
National Security.

Let's go get rid of Saddam, halfway around the world,
because "he's a bad guy."

Well, in the shadow of our own shores, Castro is a bad
guy, too.

Why isn't a free Cuba, a US national security issue?

Here's the answer:

Oil.

Cuba has no oil. If Castro's Cuba had oil, we'd be all
over the guy. The reality of the situation is, no oil,
or any other resource the US cares about.

And Castro is not alone.

There are LOTS of bad guys out there running little
countries around the globe. Most notably, hot spots
here and there in Africa, there are cival wars and
uprisings which claims tens of thousands of lives. And
the US does nothing. Why not?

No oil.

So, when people say the US mission in Iraq isn't about
oil... its about Saddam being a bad guy... well...
that is true. Saddam was a bad guy, posing a real
problem in the region of the world where the OIL comes
from.

If Saddam ran Cuba, we would have left him alone.

Bottom line: You can be dictator of a small country
with nothing the US really cares about for 46 years,
and everything is fine, but, if they find oil there,
suddenly you'll be a bad guy.

So be sure to target a country with no resources, for
your uprising, and you'll be fine. Even if its just 90
miles from the US.

Havana Baby!!

2005-09-10T15:12:00.000-06:00

Hmm..Making a few life changes, well at least I've been thinking about making a few changes. One big one is relocating to Cuba, not Guantanimo Bay, lol..HELL TO THA NAH (did Whitney kill that or what? I unwillingly watched the Bobby Brown show..SORRY, JEEZ GET OVER IT), no but seriously, been wanting to move to Cuba for a while now. Don't know why really, just want to. Seriously looking into it for now might make the move ya never know.

Had the oddest day. I'm so not into guys right now, not that I've leaped corners and am now into girls. Its just that I'm way to into work right now that I have no time for a love life. So the oddest thing happened to me yesterday, this guy walked up to me, asked for my number, did the whole small talk chitter chatter bullshit. I smiled, giggled laughed,which to any guy it would have seemed like i was quite taken by his mating tactics. Far from the truth. I just don't know how to be mean. I told him I had to run back to work. He asked where I worked. So I told him:
I'm a nun by day, and a hooker by night. A hooker because I have to fuel my insatiable heroin addiction, and to feed my 5 illegitimate undernourished children. Nun because I just loved the capes and how they swoop around when I walk.
I doubt he bought the nun part, but heroin part....Well..think he bought that.

Did you know

2005-09-03T14:57:00.000-06:00

Did You Know?

Did you know that non-Jewish Israelis cannot buy or lease land in the Zionist entity?

Did you know that Palestinian license plates in Zionist entity are color coded to distinguish jews from non-jews?

Did you know that Israel allots 85% of the water resources for jews and the remaining 15% is divided among all Palestinians in the territories?

For example in Hebron, 85% of the water is given to about 400 settlers, while 15% must be divided among Hebron's 120,000 Palestinians?

Did you know the United States awards the israel $5 billion in aid each year?

Did you know that yearly US aid to israel exceeds the aid the US grants to the whole African continent?

Did you know that the israel is the only country in the Middle East that has nuclear weapons?

Did you know that the israel is the only country in the Middle East that refuses to sign the nuclear non-proliferation treaty and bars international inspections from its sites?

Did you know that israel currently occupies territories of two sovereign nations (Lebanon and Syria) in defiance of United Nations Security Council resolutions?

Did you know that israel has for decades routinely sent assassins into other countries to kill its political enemies?

Did you know that high-ranking military officers in the israeli Defense Forces have admitted publicly that unarmed prisoners of war were executed by the IDF?

Did you know that israel refuses to prosecute its soldiers who have acknowledged executing prisoners of war?

Did you know that israel routinely confiscates bank accounts, businesses, and land and refuses to pay compensation to those who suffer the confiscation?

Did you know that israel blew up an American diplomatic facility in Egypt and attacked a U.S. ship in international waters, killing 33 and wounding 177 American sailors?

Did you know that the second most powerful lobby in the United States, according to a recent Fortune magazine survey of Washington insiders, is the jewish AIPAC?

Did you know that israel stands in defiance of 69 United Nations Security Council Resolutions?

Did you know that today's israel sits on the former sites of more than 400 now-vanished Palestinian villages, and that the israeli's re- named almost every physical site in the country to cover up the traces?

Did you know that it was not until 1988 that israelis were barred from running "jews Only" job ads?

Did you know that four prime ministers of israel (Begin, Shamir, Rabin, and Sharon) have taken part in either bomb attacks on civilians, massacres of civilians, or forced expulsions of civilians from their villages?

Did you know that the israeli Foreign Ministry pays two American public relations firms to promote israel to Americans?

Did you know that Sharon's coalition government includes a party -- Molodet -- which advocates expelling all Palestinians from the occupied territories?

Did you know that israel's settlement-building increased in the eight years since Oslo?

Did you know that settlement building under Barak doubled compared to settlement building under Netanyahu?

Did you know that israel once dedicated a postage stamp to a man who attacked a civilian bus and killed several people?

Did you know that recently-declassified documents indicate that David Ben-Gurion in at least some instances approved of the expulsion of Palestinians in 1948?

Did you know that despite a ban on torture by israel's High Court of Justice, torture has continued by Shin Bet interrogators on Palestinian prisoners?

Did you know that Palestinian refugees make up the largest portion of the refugee population in the world? And finally do you know who is the terrorist now ?

Damn Lady!

2005-08-29T10:42:00.000-06:00

Okay, I might be outright insensitive for this one. But I think that's the problem, we're conditioned to believe that disabled people are all nice people. But they're not. Some of them are evil, in fact I believe that the world will some day be ruled by evil little people and an army of former special Olympics champs.

and penguins....yeah lost of penguins

But Anyway
The little red haired paralegal that works in the downstairs office for example. I hate her! I hate her and her shiney blue scooter. She fucking pisses me off. She has no respect for average people. I swear she doesn't she's just outright rude!. She rides around in her glittery blue scooter just mad at the world. I think she hates me, I haven't done a thing to the stupid woman, she just hates me. She goes out of her way to run me over with her scooter. She cuts me in line at the cafe downstairs. I want to say something but what would I look like arguing with the innocent looking disabled lady. One day when no one was looking, I kicked her scooter, just to let her know that I wasn't gonna take her shit anymore. Since that day, its been war!

Today, I ran downstairs to grab something from the cafe. I had a feeling I was gonna run into my arch nemesis **AMBER**on the elevator. I prayed that elevator wouldn't stop as we neared her floor, but I swear the little red haired devil knows voodoo the damn elevator stopped, and there she stood with that ever so frightening blank look on her face. There were a few other people on the elevator, and since I was the first to get on, I eventually made it all the way to the back. The evil little she-deviled rammed her way through the others on the elevator as if they were the pilons she knocked over when obtaining her scooter license (imagining that she had to take a test to drive this thingy). All of a sudden everything got slow as the elevator door closed. It was like something off of the movies. A Jerry and Newman sort of thing. Mono I Mono, Good vs Evil. She stared at me with her big puppet like eyes, as she fired up her scooter ready to run right into me with one release of the break clamps. I was prepared, I've been waiting for this day for months. Ready to once and for all knock the little gremlin off her scooter. She let go of her break, and with one short Vroom of her scooter, she came flying into me. The stupid fat architect next to me would not scoot over. I had no choice but to put my arm and foot up to protect my self. Like a bad game of red rover she ran right into me, my foot got a hold of the little basket under her scooter, knocking all her documents to the ground. My hand got her face as I deflected her forehead of it.....Haha...I had won..I inflicted more damage to the stupid woman. All her legal papers..All of them on the ground, she sat there helpless. I wanted to celebrate..I really did. When I heard the ding of the elevator and felt it stop at my desired stop. Ha..I made my way around the little devil and out the elevator door. I felt so victorious. Like Napoleon on his high horse.

Is it just me?

2005-08-28T10:36:00.000-06:00

Is it just me or have people become way too sensitive about the littlest things lately. Don't want to go into too much detatil but gosh....Get over It. I'm pretty sure I don't have a sick and malicious sense of humour...I find alot of things funny, and perhaps my sarcasm works against me at times . But folks are way too sensitive. Get over IT!

Damn that woman

2005-08-27T16:32:00.000-06:00

Watching the news, Hurrican Katrina, damn that bitch, sure hope my buddy Osab is okay. I should call her....yeah i really should call her.

I hate this

2005-08-23T10:41:00.000-06:00

I really hate this, I mean I really hate feeling like this. This being a girl thing really bites man. I mean wait don't get me wrong, I was born female, no weird Jerry Springer sort of stuff going on her. But yeah back to my point, I hate being a woman, it really sucks, all these emotions really takes a toll on one. I really think I'm getting a stile...Yuck those are like so friggin' gross. Would be a lot easier to understand my issues if I give you an overview of them:

Love: So totally in love I can't help myself. Why so sad then? Simple the man that I love doesn't love me back. Pathetic isn't it.......Please I don't need pity, I need the entire first season of the 'Family Guy' to get me through this. Well he did love me at one point...and to a degree he still does, I just wasn't really into it at the time. Now he's so totally "out of love" with me....It makes me spend the better half of my long days sulking. I'll be sure to get OVER IT though.....It's number one on my to-do list

Moryaan

2005-08-02T15:06:00.000-06:00

I have this odd obsession with collecting pictures of Somali militia men (moryaan). I don't know why, damn it I just do. I google and froogle any image of a Somali men in the back of old Land Cruisers and Toyota pick up trucks, displaying an array of outdated Soviet artilery.

Oddly enough I found someone who would be willing to help me with my little obsession. Abe...a buddy of mine that works with me decided to help me out with my little obsession by making me t-shirts of every picture i've colleced. Way cool I tell ya? Any buyers?

Somali Love Letter

2005-07-23T06:53:00.000-06:00

Darling !!

We've known each other for more than a year now. During that time, we've shared so muchâ€”our hopes, our dreams, our fears. I know when I met you I wasn't thinking of starting up a serious relationship, but my admiration and respect for you quickly blossomed into love. You're my best friend and my confidant, and I can't imagine spending the better part of the next maybe five years without you. I know I've been vague about taking "the next step," but all that has changed. Your patience, loyalty, and love have made me see the world in an entirely new light. It's a place where true love can exist. So I ask you, Farax Joodari ... Will you spend the next two to three years with me?

I realize it's sudden. I'm still looking for a better-paying job. But when I look into your eyes, I see all the things I never used to want. A small wedding, Kids. I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but you're the only one I want to wake up next to for the rest of my late or early thirties.

I remember telling you early in our relationship that I never wanted to get married. But, sometimes, I can't believe what a lucky woman I am. When the moonlight hits your delicate features just right, I see an angel. An angel who will turn cold and indifferent to me in five years because of festering resentment over my Qat chewing. But if I could only capture how you look on film during those moments, I swear we could make a million dollars. God, you're so manly at this stage of your life.
Did you know that most of my friends are amazed that a man of your caliber would even be going out with me, much less be interested in marrying me? They're always talking about how smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous you are. I have no choice but to agree. When I take a step back and look at things, I mean at your frame, your nonexistant booty and buckteeth, there's no reason someone so luminous should be interested in a girl like me. Of course, I always point out to them that your looks will be pretty well faded by 2008. But when I think how stunning you are now, I can only shake my head in disbelief.

Marriage is a big step to make, I know. But when I think of all the memories we've shared together, it makes me want a medium amount more. Do you remember that time we stumbled onto the bridge in Georgia overlooking a moonlit river, and we just held each other close, watching the waves gently lap on the shore? What about all the Sundays we lay in bed together until early afternoon? I cherish these memories, and I want to share more until our relationship is reduced to screaming fights, endless hours of legal battles, and an attempt on your part to stab me with a potato peeler.
If you asked me two years ago if I was ever going to want kids, I would have looked at you like you were crazy. But sometimes, when I'm walking with you hand in hand, I imagine us pushing a stroller. And I like that image. I see us with two kids, a boy and a girl. That would be perfect. They could hold each other up after I'm gone.

I really think you'd make an incredible father,Farax. And I think you'll eventually make a great single father, too. You've got that inner strength. You don't have to answer right away if you don't want to. It's a big decision, and I wouldn't want you to take it lightly. Think it over. Talk to your friends and family. I already asked your father for your hand in marriage, and he gave his blessing. But before you answer, you should know that I truly do love you and want to spend nearly say two to three years with you. Without you, my life is incomplete. At least, until I meet another gorgeous Jamac.

So, please,Farax ... Say you'll grow early middle-aged with me.

Cool!

2005-07-22T12:53:00.000-06:00

My very first blog. Exciting, but not as exciting as the first time i successfully managed to convince my Co-worker Ed...that i was of Chinese descent...

Big Deal...

2005-01-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

This New Years thing is so over rated..Seriously big fucking deal.. So what its a new year, if you really think about it nothings really going to change. In fact the only thing that does change is the friggin' year. So why the hype huh? Why the big parties, the resolutions, the having someone to kiss at the stroke of midnight? I don't get it. GET OVER IT Folks!