Changes

Yes, I've changed my blog yet again. This is just my way of saying.... I'm back!!!! Well I've been back for a while, been meaning to update this place but I just couldn't come around to do doing so. If there's one thing I've taken away from my trip, its a really bad case of writer's block. I'm completely unable to put one logical sentence together. So I shall go ahead and apologize now, for the aimless post I'm about to write.

My trip started in true Milga fashion....A complete mess. Of course I waited till the last minute to pack and get myself together running around from store to store picking up anything I thought would come in handy for my brother's baby. By the time I got done I had about 1hr to go home shower, and make it to the airport in time (mind you its a 30min drive to the airport). Well, I did miss my flight, however I was able to catch a later one that would arrive on time to D.C so I wouldn't miss my connecting flight to Adis Ababa.

This was my view from the Wabi Shabelle hotel in the heart of AdisAbaba. Unfortunately I couldn't do much in Adis considering I was traveling alone, and if I left the hotel I don't think I would be able to find my way back. So I did as much sight seeing as I could do from the luxury of my hotel room balcony. I did however come down to the main lobby a couple of times, and got to meet some of the nicest people around though it wasn't the same as going out into the city and mingling as I wanted to do. I met by far the coolest Rasta Farians though. At first I was a bit weirded out when we landed at the airport. These two grown men knelt down on the ground and started kissing it---erm more like making out with the cement. Despite that they turned out to be two of the coolest people. Perhaps the next time I'm there, I'll get the chance to really go out and see the city.

Hargeysa was nothing like I ever imagined it to be. Wait! Hargeysa airport was nothing like I ever imagined. Upon landing the only face I was looking for was that of my brother's. I knew no one else in the entire city. I searched through the sea of people to find his familiar face but they all just looked the same. Finally out of the crowd of people popped my brother's face grinning from ear to ear and laughing his now bald head off. Upon walking up to him, I asked what the heck was so damn funny, and he was quick to inform me that my tattered Abercrombie and Fitch jeans were quite visible from under my abaya, and flip flops were strictly to be used for the rest room here; at a second glance I realized he wasn't the only one laughing.

I've always thought that as soon as I would go to Somalia, I'd feel an instant connection with the land, and the people, but it couldn't have been further from the truth for me. I felt like a complete stranger, an outsider. Yes the same language, and yes the same people, but yet I didn't get that immediate sense of belonging I thought I would feel. The first week was rather scary, with the little red buses that ride around giving out warnings of a cholera outbreak in the area, and the weird old woman across the dirt pathway that would challenge me to a fight every few days, the whole thing was sort of weird. I spent the first weeks at home pretty much, taking care of now very pregnant sister in law, all while getting to know her and catching up with my brother. I learned how to cook food on a coal stove and how to bargain at the local markets to get the best deals.

On June 18 after 14hrs of labour, without an epidural and without the use of any pain killers, my sister in law gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Ayat. The birth of my niece was probably the scariest yet most exciting thing I've ever witnessed in my life, she was perfect, absolutely perfect. I have never seen my brother so happy, he was hopping around like he use to when he'd kick my butt at a particular video game--ecstatic!

Everything after that day went quite fast, my time was spent holding her, bathing her, changing her, talking to her, and sometimes my sister in law would walk in and find me singing an old Dido song to her. I was obsessed completely in love with this beautiful being. Soon after though, my uncle who runs a school in a town called Sheikh asked me to come along with him on his travels to Uganda and Kenya; no protest on my end, although I was gonna miss Ayat, I knew that I wouldn't get an opportunity like this again.

Kampala was something else, really busy everyone seemed like they were always in a rush to go somewhere and do something really important. Beautiful city with just as many Chinese food places as there were trees. While my uncle was attending meetings and shopping around for teachers and money for his school. I spent most of my days with his co-worker's wife Margaret. Although Maggie looked extremely intimidating, she was one of the sweetest women I've ever met. She showed me around the city, helped me shop for souvenirs and even took me out to get a taste of the east African night life. After a week in Kampala, we headed off to Nairobi for several days before we had to head back to Hargeysa.

Back in Hargeysa, it was obvious I was missed! The young lady Amina who lived with us and helped around the house, went on a rampage talking attempting to update me on all the goings on while I was away---unfortunately due to her thick northern accent, I understood close to none of what she was saying. The kids around the neighbourhood were also really happy to see me, either they really did take a liking to me, or just missed the fact I would spend ridiculous amounts of money on cookies and candy for all of us to eat while we watch our 2hrs of "filin kartoon"--(cartoons...erm Tom and Jerry mainly). Unfortunately the trip back was just short lived, although I tried to prolong my stay for a bit longer, inevitably it was time for me to head back.

I was glad to have made a connection and find a new friend and sister in Ayan my brother's wife. She's truly an amazing human being who has gone through more than I could ever imagine, but always keeps that reassuring carefree smile on her face. I had the chance to spend quality time with my brother, who I haven't seen for two years and who has grown to be a wonderful husband and father, and an even better older brother. I became an aunt; met distant cousins, some who proposed marriage and some who were actually sincere in getting to know a cousin. I seen chickens, donkeys', baboons and goats running wild; seen a crazy man chain to a huge bolder, and drank fresh camel's milk. I was stoned and chased by a deranged man at the market, and seen an old friend all in the same day. I made many new friends and have made unforgettable memories with them. I even picked up some new slang! I had the best time of my life, and I can't wait for the day when I can do it all over again!

I'm Back !!

I'm back, and have been now for a few weeks now. I haven't really had the opportunity to update this place like I promised but because I've been away from home for so long, I had a lot of catching up to do with the other aspects of my life. Before I left I took my laptop with me with the intent of writing as much as possible and keeping you all posted on my trip back home. Well as usual seems that I've only kept up with half of my promise. Though I was keeping notes I was unable to upload everything, and everyday I promise myself that I will, but I never do. Sorry folks!

Below are a few pictures from my travels.

Its me.. Surprise!!!

Oh dear blog how I've missed thee!!! Its been ages since I've last seen you and since then I've been longing for the day that I would be reunited with you . Well here is its, the day I'm finally reunite with you, but there's only one problem; I don't know what to say. See the truth of the matter is I've been trying desperately for months to get back to my old habit of blogging, but every time I get around to doing so, I don't know where to start and I don't know what to say. For a self-proclaimed blabber mouth, I mean you'd think I'd always have something to say. So here's my sincere apologies to thee... I'm sorry for abandoning you once again. I'm sorry for being so scattered brain. I'm sorry for neglecting you, and forsaking you. It will never happen again...............erm.... It probably will. For several reasons which I will explain later.

Oddly enough I feel like I have to reintroduce myself to the blogging world! Yes, I have been gone that long. The last time I was around, Britney and Kevin were still together. Anna Nicole and her son were both alive, the year was 2006 and the term "that's hot" was still cool. So of course a lot has changed, many have forgot about me, and I feel inclined to reintroduce myself.

My name is Milga. I officially age ever 21st of November since 1983. I live in a small hick town where cow tipping is cool, Africa is in Asia and the mullet is still a very acceptable hairstyle.

This blog chronicles moments I want to remember. It is my emotional piggy bank; it is all the chicken soup I've ever brewed in preparation for the inevitable shitty moments in my life. I'm a constructive pessimist, which in Milga-speak means that I expect the worst, save yourself the disappointment. I tend to blurt out random lines that may very well be the continuation of a conversation I had with someone back in 1998. On most days I'm head over heels in love with myself. I also love my family, my weird cat, my dog uhm... and waffles... Belgian waffles!

According to my mother I have no real direction in my life. I'm 23 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. So to compensate for my lack of a 5 year plan, I'm in Grad school, working on a few side projects and will be auditioning for Canadian Idol next year (its so much easier)... Your votes do count!

While I've been gone I've been busy being a slave to both school and work, and of course my mother. My brother's wife is almost due, so I've finally gotten around to booking my ticket to Somalia.... erm.. Land.... Somaliland..errrm.. Hargeysa<---that's fair. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I have a couple of other things I want to do when I head out to that part of the world, which I will also explain later.

For now, however, it feels good to get through the tough task of getting the first blog since my long hibernation stunt out of the way. I won't promise a thing, but I'll try my hot diggity hardest to update this thing as regularly as possible.

I am alive!

HollyWood to the Rescue !!!

Perhaps I should have added this to my list of my 6 weird things about me, but I have this odd habit of going out to the movies by myself. This weekend was no different. I've been fighting myself this past weekend not to go out and watch another misconstrued film about 'poor old Africa'. Hollywood has a way of reaching out to the masses of misinformed Americans to convince them to pull out their cheque books to help save more poor black lives in Africa. This time Hollywood came to the rescue of the West African nation of Sierra Leone, 10years, and thousands of dead bodies too late.

To be fair, Blood Diamond ,makes some effort to dramatize the degree to which Western jewelers exploit and sometimes even exacerbate, civil unrest in Africa in order to obtain diamonds and the film even implies to ensure that diamond prices remain sufficiently high to ensure greater profit.

What irked me was the smug self righteousness that is surrounding the movie. The New York Times article "Diamonds are for Never", quotes all of these types talking about how they absolutely couldn't countenance it. I'm they feel that way, but 1) there's no way guarantee a conflict-free diamond unless you buy it from some other part of the world; and 2) did you even know what conflict until the hype surrounding this movie? the movie itself finishes with a few notes about the Kimberley Process and then extorts movie-goers never to buy a conflict diamond. Great idea, but it's very hard to do.

Maybe I read too much into things, but while sitting in the movie theaters before the movie started, I couldn't help but look around the theater to notice that other than the weird black dude with snow white, I was the only person of colour in the entire movie theater. For the first time in a long time a felt oddly out of place, like I should have left the suburbs to watch this movie. I was pretty damn sure that walking out the movie theaters I would have had hoards of chipper white folks offering their condolences for the loss of my mother in the Sierra Leone war, or the fact that my little brothers had to be forced into the R.U.F as child soldiers for the rebels. Come to think of it.. I shouldn't have run out of the movie theaters the last 2mins of the movies, I could have walked away with enough of a handout to pay off my student loans.

All jokes aside..but how long will the entire continent of Africa be the charity case for the rest of the world? And how long will Hollywood use the misfortunes of Africa to create their own? I don't know how much more I can take of Hollywood exploiting us to make them feel better about themselves. Or how much more we as Africans will allow the rest of the world to do that to us. Like one of the characters in the movie said "People are inherently good"....African people are good people with good intentions, its not until some of these people rise to power, rob an entire nation of its dignity, resources and money...only to then retire in exile in another country. Never ending cycle of African politics. Overall, its an okay movie, its a bit over top when it comes to the action stuff but over all it depicts the real deal of the world and the realities of child soldiers. I would suggest everyone to watch the movie, not so they'll think twice about buying diamonds, but so they can get a lesson in the recent history of Sierra Leone.

My Japanese Characters don't work :(

Working on the designs folks, and soon enough I'll have them posted up for you guys to vote on. I've been experiencing writer's block lately, except its more like artist block.......well in that case it should just be artists' block then...right? Well anywho, perhaps I'm being a bit of a perfectionist but I've scrapped more designs than I have actually kept. I'm being a bit too picky if you ask me, but its been a long time since I've doodled in my scrap book and actually ended up with a design that I really like. I'll keep doodling though, somethings going to eventually catch my eye.

I've done it! I've finally went to the zoo and boy was it a blast. I'll have to upload the pics from my trip to the zoo as soon I get some time to. I'm actually proud of myself. I usually set mini goals for myself and never actually get around to doing them. So a huge KUDOS to me....I saw the penguins.

So how freaking incredible is this: I finally decided to help out my co-worker with her training class and in her class were two Japanese interpreters who were looking for a position with us here. Finally I can take my Japanese language skills to the next level....Real Japanese folks. I dunno about you but I just can't seem to contain myself. The cool part is, they say I'm pretty good, and am a quick learner. That's the sorta thing you want to hear after struggling for the past several years to teach yourself. To be honest, I've been obsessed with the Japanese language and culture for a while now. I can remember as far back as being around 8 or 9 years old and turning the pages of the National Geographic; they were doing a piece on Japan, and I remember being completely mesmerized with the images of the city, country and shrines. I made up my mind right then and there that Japan was where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. More than 14 years later, I'm still in North America...... I'm meeting up with my new Japanese buddies this weekend for coffee and so I can help them study for the test hopefully I can get a couple of lessons out of it too.

取得心配!

Cow fart!....Ofrourse

Last night I dreamt that when I looked out of my window there was a river. It was a wide one and I remember identifying it as a braided stream, with mid-channel bars colonised by vegetation (pink flowers) but after staring at it for a while it suddenly morphed into miles of desert. I didn't think it was strange at that point, it felt so natural and peaceful to be admiring a vast sandy landscape. Out of the blue it occurred to me that one spot exhibited fluvial scarring that ceased more than four thousand years ago as well as more recent evidence of water presence, and when my mind decided that the glaciers were melting I abruptly began to quote word for word an entire page from my Geography lecture notes, one of those that utterly disgust me now because it turned out to be totally irrelevant during the recently concluded exams. After that it became hard to breathe, and instinctively I knew that those were greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide and methane. The last thought I remember having before I woke up is one that accurately pinpoints the source of my frustration today, that I never got to write these four words during the Geography exam: Cow fart produces methane.

I'm Cool Like DAT

I'm a pacifist, and that's a barrier that I have created for myself, because it is what I think is right. I accept responsibility for that fact.. just as I realize that I could easily break past it, and accept responsibility for that as well.

I have over a dozen of side projects that I'm working on, and that I never really get the chance to finish up on. A big one in particular is my art. I never really thought I was any good but according to others around me I am.. Surprise.... Well anywho, I'm about to finally take one of my side projects seriously. I've been designing t-shirts for a while, considering that's mainly what my day to day wardrobe consists of. I've been juggling around a few ideas, and a few different designs for the past couple of days and finally getting the help that I need. I meeting up with an old college buddy of mine whose into designing. In fact, she's actually made quite the profit from her own t-shirt company... I'm not really looking to make any profit from this, a) because I doubt I'll really have a demographic of people buying and, b) any profit I make from this I'd rather donate to help out with books and supplies for a few schools back home in Somalia.

Gosh darn it.. I've been dying to go to the zoo for the past month, but haven't found one person yet whose willing to go with me. Everyone either gives me this odd look, or questions why the hell I'd want to go to the zoo in the dead of winter. Why go out to the movies and watch "Happy Feet".... When I can go tot he zoo and see real penguins...huh??<---solid reasoning there! Well I've decided I'm just going to go to the zoo by damn self, screw everyone else. I can take some pretty cool pics too!

So far this week has been a lot better. I realized that sometimes I take things a bit too the heart and let things build up before I can actually confront them and deal with them. I think I've also been a bit too hard on my Mr.X ... I don't mean to but because he's the closest person to me, I tend to take a lot of my aggression out on him. I appreciate him for understanding, and despite everything I've been going through being patient with me. He's reminded me of how much I've let my current adversaties get to me. How much I believe in being completely responsible for your actions, how much I believe that we create who we are with every choice that we make, that no one can do it for us... How we can blame no one for the faults within us, how we can only blame ourselves; and yet, blame is not exactly the right word. Blame is so useless... Its recognition that we must have and from recognition we can bring about change because everything about us can be changed. The power of the mind can over come any obstacle.